pairadocs design lab

Get Wrecked!

2007-10-17T23:30:00.001-04:00

Wreckage - Robot Mode
Originally uploaded by pairadocs

Finished my repaint of the Movie Transformers Wreckage! I think this one is my favorite robot form of all the Transformers.

In a Frenzy

2007-09-23T20:03:00.001-04:00

In a Frenzy
Originally uploaded by pairadocs

I have completed my custom Transformers Robot Replicas (series 2) Frenzy.

He was cool to start with, but I added a bunch of pieces of stuff to him to make him more multi-dimensional, as well as new balljoints on his shoulders for more posability.

He then got a whole new spanking paint job, using a base of black metallic, then layered up with progressive silvers, then topped off with a chrome drybrush. I went in and added faded gold accents to match the rendered concept art on the box.

This is a neat base figure... much better than the kiddie version of Frenzy that came out earlier (even though it did transform into a boom box) or the weird little one that pops out of Barricade's grill.

Meet Your Nemesis

2007-09-18T11:35:00.001-04:00

Protoform Nemesis Prime En Guard!
Originally uploaded by pairadocs

The yang to my yin - the Protoform Optimus Prime - is complete.

My newest custom Protoform Nemesis Prime... complete with interchangeable hands (regular, cannon and Dark Saber) is ready for some Transformer-stomping action!

For sale on eBay now!

Battle of the Brawl

2007-09-10T00:02:00.001-04:00

Decepticon Brawl in the Shadows.
Originally uploaded by pairadocs

My Leader Class Brawl is done... in all his battle-ravaged glory.

This figure marks a new milestone for me - this is my first use of the airbrush I've had sitting in a box, never used, for over five years. Click the image for the jump to my Flickr gallery.

He's also for sale on eBay if you click here.

Credit Where Credit is Due

2007-09-03T15:09:00.001-04:00

As many of you know, when I take photographs of my figures, I like to make them more visually appealing. Instead of taking them on plain backdrops in my lightbox, I like to hang a backdrop that accents or contrasts the color of the piece I am shooting. When I do this, I use many resources... from patterns I create in photoshop, photographs I have taken and blown up, etc.

This technique has always been done blindly, often using images that I have saved over the years in my "creative inspiration" folder I have on my PC. This is my collection of images I have saved off the Internet from many places, and turn to to look at when I want to get my creative juices flowing, or just want to admire the fine works of others.

What I humbly failed to do, however, is realize that when I use a backdrop that is part of a copyrighted work of art by a talented individual, that I may be violating copyrights that individual may hold on the piece.

It was brought to my attention that some of my photos for my Protoform Optimus Prime (which as I mentioned in an earlier post had exploded across the Internet) used a copyrighted work of art. The piece in question is titled "Absence of Vision" by an artist by the name of Vitaly S. Alexius. Ironically, my own absence of vision did not verify the origin of the image I had saved and printed as the backdrop, and failed to give Mr. Alexius proper due.

I have updated my Flickr photos containing this image with proper credit. I also wish to extend, publicly, my sincerest apologies to Vitaly, and state that I had no intentions of exploiting his beautiful artwork for any personal gain. I am greatly humbled by this, and as an artist myself, I am ashamed for having the foresight to use uncredited material.

I have learned from this mistake, and will make every attempt to ensure this does not happen again.

That all being said, I have talked via email with Mr. Alexius, and he has been very gracious in understanding the situation.

I urge you all to visit his website at http://www.svitart.com, and take a look at his amazing works of art, and commission him for your projects!

Hey Sparky, Where Ya Goin'?

2007-08-29T20:47:00.001-04:00

Allspark - 1
Originally uploaded by pairadocs

"To eBay," said the Allspark...

This is made of wood. Hehehe... I said wood...

I carved it with the help of my Dremel and my own monkey hands...

I Scream for Starscream!

2007-08-27T01:40:00.001-04:00

I'm gonna pinch you!!
Originally uploaded by pairadocs

...and my Protoform Starscream is now done as well! My follow up to the Optimus Prime Protoform, Starscream features interchangeable hands and a slick new paint job!

Check him out here, or place your bid here! He's cool, and if you buy it, it will make you cool too...

More Than a Minesweeper...

2007-08-27T01:36:00.001-04:00

Bonecrusher - minesweeper mode
Originally uploaded by pairadocs

Bonecrusher is done. I am super happy how this one came out. Got to do military colors and then played with the pastels for the weathering effects again.

You can check out more photos here, or you can make a bid on ebay and own it!!

It's funny how things catch on...

2007-08-18T13:42:00.000-04:00

Recently, I entered into the world of Transformers customizing... I made a custom Scorponok, a custom Blackout, and most recently, a custom Protoform Optimus Prime.

The latter of the three took me the least amount of time to do... I did all the sculpting and filling in of the joints one day, then painted it off and on the following day (a Sunday). Maybe 8 hours or so total of work (compared to 12 or so for the Scorponok, and over 20 on the Blackout.)

I posted my finished Optimus on a few custom forums, including Transformers World 2005, as well as on my Flickr account. Then I listed him for sale on ebay.

A few days later, I'm getting messages and emails from around the world... literally. Japan, Russia, the UK, Australia, as well as all over the U.S. My thread views on just that one TFW2005 post jumped from about 400+ to 4700... and growing. I'm getting Flickr contact additions and comments flooding in... craziness!

Then I start finding out why. Some of my contacts start pointing out that they've seen my custom on Gizmodo (a great tech blog I actually have bookmarked). Then TechEBlog (another one of my favorites). Transformers Movie Blog. Notcon.org (some really cool design site I'd never heard of before). Apparently there's others, but I haven't been able to track them down.

Wow. It's amazing how the Internet works sometimes, and it never ceases to amaze me. All I did was make another custom, and post the pics to some forums... just like I always do. Then one person posts a link to it somewhere, then a few more link to that link, and the next thing you know, I'm getting emails from Russia telling me "I are liking your customize toys." So cool.

I am humbled and amazed. I sincerely appreciate all of the kinds words and positive feedback I've gotten over this figure. As an artist, I'm even more thrilled with being able to expose my work to such a vast audience. That's the most rewarding thing about this to me.

Thank you very much to everyone!!

Back to the lab... I have more to do...

UPDATE: Keeps popping up! Now on: rekkerd.com - nice comparison to the original even!

Venom-ous!

2006-11-20T20:17:00.001-05:00

It's live!

Check it out here.

Sneak Peek

2006-11-20T00:14:00.000-05:00

Long time no post... how is that any different though, right?

Going to take it in a new direction though... gonna keep it all about customs and action figures, for the most part... at least until my full website is complete.

Here's a sneak peek of my newest finished custom - the first one I've shared in over a year now (yes, there's more done awaiting photographs...) - more pics will will be on my Fwooshnet page tomorrow on this one with full write-up. Venom-inous!

Four day weekends are swell.

2006-08-14T23:13:00.000-04:00

The only thing I like better than a three-day weekend is a four-day weekend.

My mind plays very odd tricks on me on extended weekends. When I take a three-day weekend (whether I am adding a Friday or a Monday to it), it always seems there's an extra Sunday in there... and it's always the last two days. When I take a four-day weekend, as I am finishing up right now (I took both Friday and Monday off), I have a hard time telling what the hell day it is. It actually has a Saturday-Sunday-Sunday-Saturday feeling to it. For that reason, it feels like tomorrow should be Sunday again to me, and I don't want to go back to work.

At least there's one good thing to look forward to - a four day work week (don't even get me started on how my mind processes that.)

Friday, my wife and I headed back to Detroit, and then hopped in the car with my folks for a six-hour drive to Pennsylvania for a family reunion. It seemed like a good idea when we first planned it... after all, gas is expensive and we didn't want to put the extra miles on our car. It's quite an interesting endeavor though, being 31 now, and riding in the back seat with my parents on a road trip. At least I managed to drive half the trip there.

The reunion was nice, and I saw a lot of the family that I haven't had contact with in about 15 years, ate a lot of unhealthy food, and then I jacked up my shoulder playing football with some of my younger cousins (hence my not driving any of the trip home.) I learned a few things from that:

Pennsylvania, unlike Michigan, is very hilly with lots of slopes.
Eleven years olds can be very fast.
Running downhill decreases your likelihood of stopping quickly upon tagging an opponent in touch football.
When sailing through the air head first, time stands still and flies by in a blur simultaneously.
The terrain in the hills of Pennsylvania is a harder earth, with a high concentration of clay and sand. This combination makes a lawn much firmer than Michigan... not unlike a concrete slab.
I am not as resilient as I was ten years ago.

I'm still a little sore. Maybe I should call in sick tomorrow... you know, so I can recover...

Back from the great unknown... AKA "I've Been Doin' Stuff"

2006-07-31T23:41:00.000-04:00

Well, it has been over three months since I posted here... and I figured it's about time that I got back on and started writing again. I do this for several reasons, really.

The way I figure, writing here is good exercise for me... mentally, and more specifically, creatively. It's nice to blow the dust off the old gears and get the machine cranking, and it lets me get stuff out of my head. The fact that no one really reads this is fine... I just do this for the hell of it. Plus, I enjoy writing, and I hope to be doing a lot more of it... not just blogging. I'm still trying to decide how I'm going to go about that exactly though...

That being said, I've been up to all sorts of crazy shenanigans these past months. I pondered how to cover it all - should I give a bunch of little snippets about what I've been doing, or should I do a series of posts that cover each thing in greater detail?

Well, I suppose it may be helpful to do both... this way, I can do a quick catch up, and then I can elaborate and sprinkle in some accompanying photos and whatnot. After that's all done, I can return to writing posts about the present, even though technically, that's would be right now. So actually, I'll be writing about the future (at least in terms of the present), although it will be current when I get to it. I'm not sure if that was profound or not... it both confused me and made sense, all at the same time, and that scares me a little bit...

So what have I been up to? As I said, I'll be brief for now - and go into them more later:

I finalized re-financing effort (just last week as a matter of fact) - and have taken one more step towards eliminating my credit card debt. My monthly payments to credit companies will finally be less than what I was paying... which previously rivaled the national budget of several underdeveloped third world nations.
We got a new cat - an apple-headed seal point Siamese (not to be confused with a cotton-headed ninny-muffin.) Her name is Maggie, but I like to affectionately refer to her as "Shithead," because it's more suitable.
I went to San Francisco, where I attended a training seminar on web usability run by the Neilsen Norman Group. I learned a lot of great stuff, not just on usability. For instance, I learned that I can walk at a forty-five degree angle for several hours and only be sore for three days afterwards.
I have been customizing again, after not doing much on that realm for a few months. I've actually been doing quite a bit... and should actually be posting some on here in the near future (the original intention of this blog, mind you.)
The biggest thing that has happened, and is continuing to happen, is that my wife and I are expecting our first child together. She's now in her second trimester, and I got a chance to hear the heartbeat twice now (VERY surreal). In another month, we'll hopefully be finding out the sex. I'm hoping it's a cyborg.

Heave ho!

2006-04-20T22:44:00.000-04:00

It's usually a good morning when you awake, and realize that death isn't a more appealing alternative.

Let me explain (before you start sending me pamplets and websites and phone numbers.) I finally got over a pretty nasty run-in with a stomach virus of an epic proportion.

As a wonderful souvenier of our weekend trip back to my parents' house this past Easter weekend, I picked up the remnants of a virus both my folks recently had. My mom informed us when we arrived Saturday that she wasn't going to hug us, etc., because she had just gotten over a 2-day flu bug. That was Wednesday-Thursday, so she figured she was fine, but "just to be safe." What they both failed to mention was that my dad had the same bug on Friday... but his was only 24 hours (I found this out yesterday.)

On Monday night, at around 11PM, I knew something was amiss. Less than an hour later, I was laying on our living room floor by the television, hugging a pillow. An hour later, I was in the fetal position in my bed, my wife asleep on the couch.

Every two hours, like clockwork, until about 11AM Tuesday, I threw up.

First off, I hate puking. Even more than that, I hate the dry heaves. I drank as much water as I could between small bursts of sleep, partially for hydration, but mostly to prevent those damn dry heaves...

Tuesday was a wash... I spent all day and most of the night laying in bed (I did, however, drag myself out of bed to watch American Idol... and I'm not proud of that, but I got strangely hooked on that show for the first time ever.)

I woke up Wednesday sore from laying in bed, my chest sore from the previous night's cataclysmic events, dizzy and weak. I decalred it another wash... there was no way I was going to be able to go through a day of work, let alone operate a motor vehicle to get there. I proceeded to sleep some more.

Later in the day, and into the evening yesterday, I felt myself getting better. Realizing all I had consumed the previous 40-some hours ahead was water, and a cup of chicken broth earlier in the day, I finally had an apetite. I had a salad.

The flu sucks... but I feel tons better now.

...on the positive side, I lost three and a half more pounds in just two days (not my preferred method, but it knocked a notch out of my goal of my diet - I'm down seventeen pounds now!)

...and Ace finally got voted out (I'm just surprised he didn't cry like the little bitch that he is.)

...oh, save it.

Little moments of time...

2006-04-04T19:43:00.000-04:00

Tonight... well, technically, tomorrow morning, marks a quirky little moment in time. It's not a huge thing, although I find it neat in a dorky way. Just past 1A.M. - two minutes and three seconds past to be exact - it will be 01:02:03 04/05/06. It's the first time ever this has happened (for blatantly obvious reasons) and it's sort of neat. Now I'm sure there's some tool out there who is having some massive celebration, and they'll count down to it like it's a New Year's celebration... and then they too will have that moment like all of us have at approximately 12:01A.M. on New Year's Day where they go "Hmm. I think I'm gonna go to bed now." I'll probably still be up at that time, but I'm not going to sit here and wait for it. Just reflecting on it now is fine for me.

On another note, I feel so grown up lately. My vocabulary these days include words like "interest rates," "re-financing, "mortgage," "appraisals" and "escrow," the latter of which I think I only used when someone would ask "what's that awful noise outside - is that a bird?"

("Yes... escrow.")

As you can likely piece together, I am in the process of getting my finances together, and I have an appraiser coming over tomorrow to evaluate my house so I can refinance it. The best part of the deal is that hopefully, when all is said and done, I will be credit card DEBT FREE. It's an amazing concept to me... and will no doubt change me and my family's life. Hopefully, in a few months, I'll actually be able to start saving money once again, without sending it all off in the form of bill payments and the like. The only cost it will be to me most likely is losing most, if not all, of my equity to date... but when weighing the benefits and interest rates... I will come out way ahead. Sure, we may be living in this house for a few more years than we had originally hoped... but it will be worth it. There just may be a light at the end of the tunnel after all. Which is nice, because I'm sick of watching my paychecks disappear almost faster than they come in.

My stepson Alex also turned seven yesterday. We had a little party for him here on Saturday, where our house was taken over by a group of unruly kids for a good portion of the day, and yesterday he got his gifts from us, including a new bike to accomodate his rapidly-increasing height (he's about three-quarters of the size of my wife already.)

When I met my wife, he was just turning two... so it also marked the five year mark of being together with her. It's a strange concept when I think about it... while it feels like we've been together for much longer, it still is hard to believe it has been five years. I know it's a bit of a contradiction... a "paradox" if you will (hah!)... but it's true. It's still been a great five years... and many more to come (and no, I'm not just saying that because she reads this thing now...)

I've also been officially on a diet for eight full days. I'm eating healthier now, and my appetitie is also getting a bit smaller (that's a good thing.) I did this about two years ago and lost about forty pounds. In the last year, I've gained back all but about five pounds of that. That bothered me enough to make the switch back to healthy eating... and it is a little harder this time around. I've been able to resist all the goodies they always have laying around at work, and the birthday cake from this weekend. I cheated and had one slice of pizza... but overall been very good. Six pounds down. Twenty-nine to go...

Dammit, I miss chocolate.

Hustle, Bustle and Flow...

2006-03-29T22:43:00.000-05:00

The three days off this past weekend was nice, but since Monday, I've been hard at work. We're wrapping up a big Intranet project at work this week (it launches to the company next Tuesday,) and I couldn't be more excited. While we will be wrapped up in supporting the new Intranet for the weeks and months to come, the thick of it will be over, and I see it as a huge relief. It's pretty much all I have been doing at work since the beginning of January.

I get that way with projects sometimes... when doing design work, it's nice to "take a breather" every now and again, just to refresh the creative flow. I like variety - it keeps it interesting. It is both a blessing and a curse... and this is exhibited in my customizing work as of late.

I haven't touched the dremel in months. I did some painting a few weeks ago, but I have many, many unfinished projects collecting dust on my workbench. It just seems lately, when I'm home, I've been spending my "downtime" on other things... and not spending as much time down in the basement where "the lab" is. I have felt a pang lately to get back down there... but lately when I go down there, I have been mostly cleaning and re-arranging.

I have new ideas... and like I said, many unfinished ones. I just haven't had a drive to do much with them. I keep waiting for that spark again... but it hasn't been firing. I think it's a phase... I am apt to be like this. I have been so encapsulated in web world with my job, and then this Mac thing has intrigued me, that my head has been in "tech world," not toys. I haven't bought a toy in over a month either (which is something I've been working to cut back on as well.)

So I'm sure the customizing will be back soon enough... in the meantime, I have been working on the Design Lab website. Just about the time I get near done with it, inevitably, I'll get bored with it and go back to the customizing thing. I call it my "creative ADD." I don't get it much at work though, because I have people to answer to in regards to my work. Since I don't get paid to play around at home, I'm much more lax.

I think I'm gonna go play some video games now...

Takin' a day...

2006-03-24T11:03:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it's nice to take a day off of work for no other reason than to just give yourself a break. As much as I love my job, I've been working on the same project since January, and we're near completion... so it seemed like a good time to take a three-day weekend and clear my head a little.

Plus, it's my birthday, so it seemed like a perfect excuse. I don't have any big plans, and didn't when I requested the day off a few weeks back, and that makes it even nicer.

Sitting at home offers too many distractions, and I'd probably just sit around and play video games all day, and then tonight I would feel like I wasted my day. So I'm at Beaner's, enjoying the free wi-fi, catching up with some things I have been wanting to do for a while (including making an update to this here blog, and working on the Design Lab website.)

It would be nicer if the only good seat available was underneath a speaker, and the music of the morning here is apparently "Annoying International Warbling." Luckily, I brought my iPod and noise-cancelling headphones... so I am listening to the Free Beer and Hot Wings podcast, with a hint of what I think are accordians and bagpipes (simultaneously) in the background, intermingled with loud frothing milk noises. I think I'm going to have to switch to music soon to drown everything out. I think I'll crank out some Arctic Monkeys... I'm sort of hooked on their songs these days...

It's kinda neat to be sitting here, away from home, and still be able to surf the web and use a computer... and I'm really digging this whole Mac thing. While I'll never give up my PC at home, I really enjoy using the PowerBook. Mac is certainly doing a lot of things right, that's for sure. It's very intuitive... and in the two weeks or so since I've had this thing, I haven't once had any odd sort of issue installing, configuring, or using a single application. If anything, I'm amazed at how simple it's been, and it makes me nervous... on the PC, even the simplest installation can somehow mysteriously stop working when something else in installed. I like how applications are contained in their own little "capsules" - you just drag the "installations" in a folder, and they run. Holy crap.

I'll be back in a little bit...

A Moment of Silence...

2006-03-12T22:46:00.000-05:00

Big Mac Attack...

2006-03-07T22:50:00.000-05:00

Very exciting stuff... I am typing this message from my new PowerBook G4 (Thanks work!!)

This is actually coming from a little Blogger widget... pretty neat stuff and very accesible.

What's even cooler is that I am sitting upstairs on wireless... it seems somewhere I have a neighbor who doesn't know how to secure their WiFi network... here's hoping they never learn!

This Mac thing ain't half bad!

I'd rather eat spackle...

2006-03-06T22:22:00.000-05:00

As much as people like to bitch about advertising, the plain and simple truth is this: it friggin' works. I don't even think it's a question any more... it's just a simple fact. It is still amazing to me when I see its effects on me, even when I don't realize it at first.

I pondered this late last night when I got hungry and fixed myself a peanut butter sandwich.

My wife went grocery shopping a few weeks ago (which I usually do... but I'm not complaining.) I reminded her before she left to buy peanut butter, specifying only to make sure to get the crunchy kind. I just sort of assumed she'd know which brand to get... the one I always get.

Now I'm no peanut butter snob, but I always get Skippy. I always have... for as long as I've been out of my parents' house and buying my own groceries. Even at home though, my mom bought crunchy Skippy for me. It's delicious (and crunchy!) and I thought my wife knew this, as we always have a jar in the cupboard (to her defense, she doesn't eat it... she likes Smuckers Natural.) Regardless, she bought Jiff (at least it was the cruchy kind.)

I was a little disappointed. I asked her why she bought Jiff, when I *always* buy Skippy?

Her response? "I thought Jiff was better. Choosy moms choose Jiff, right?"

If by "choosy," they mean "cruel," then yes... because Jiff is disgusting should not be sold in stores.

Granted, I did not express this at the time... I just asked her to please not ever buy it again, and to only buy Skippy, because Jiff is crap in a jar. I said I'd eat it eventually though.

Which leads me to last night. I thought of that witty little sentence about cruel moms as I gagged down that damn sandwich. I don't know why I ate the whole thing... it might have been to see if was as really as bad as I built it up to be, or that maybe I would learn to accept it as I ate more. Either way, it sucked, and I am going to throw the rest of the jar away (since I am the only one in this house who would possibly eat it.) I hate wasting food, but I wouldn't even use that crap as spackle.

[Ok, that literally made no sense... peanut butter would make horrible spackle. It doesn't set, it would get moldy, it's all bumpy, and you can't really sand it and paint over it. I just like the word spackle, and I like working it into things when I can. Happy?]

My point (while practically lost in my slightly pathetic internal debate involving nut-based sandwich spreads) is this: my wife bought that Jiff crap based on a slogan she heard, probably fifteen years ago.

And I thought everyone knows that for good nutrition, it's hard to beat Skippy.

Wonderlic-ious

2006-03-02T09:53:00.000-05:00

Quite the funny name for a fairly well-used test...

So how do you score? (this is just a sample of a real test... the real one is 50 questions in 20 minutes.)

I got 13 out of 15, in case you cared.

I Even Amaze Myself Sometimes...

2006-02-26T23:22:00.000-05:00

What can I say... sometimes I find delight in the simplest humor. I could do this for hours, and it would still be funny. Don't fool yourself... you like it too!

My Name in Flikring Letters

2006-02-25T15:35:00.000-05:00

Pretty cool! Now do yours.

Random Tech Geekery and Online Webbification...

2006-02-20T22:59:00.000-05:00

I've been doing a lot of Internet trolling lately, and finally spending more time on some sites I knew of, but never really gave a ton of my time to... and I'm starting to realize all I've been missing out on. The one thing you can never refer to the Internet as being is boring...

Digg.com is a "social bookmarking" site - and for those of us who dig a plethora of tech news, wacky net offerings, etc., it's a fantastic resource. The basic priciple is this: members (it's free to join) can add links they find interesting, and they get added to a long list. Anyone else can look at the list, and visit the posted links. If you like it, you can "digg" it, and then the diggs get tallied. Once an article gets a lot of diggs, it appears on their front page. The main page has great articles that have been "dugg," but there's lots of great links that appear in the master list... it's a fantastic concept, and they've been around a while, and have grown quite a bit. They also have a great podcast, Diggnation (hosted by former TechTV dudes Kevin Rose and Alex Albrecht), where they discuss the big diggs of the week. It's growing quickly into one of my favorite podcasts. Plus, when I think about the site a lot, it makes me want to pick up my Atari...

A site I stumbled upon by accident that I am a big fan of already is PageFlakes. Using the programming laguage Ajax, it offers a really cool base for your RSS feeds, and other useful widgets that folks have developed. I now use it for my home page, and I forsee this one getting quite popular. The developers at my office have been playing with Ajax recently for our Intranet site... it allows for some really cool customization of interfaces that individual users can maintain. You set up your page elements, and folks can drag and drop the components, turn on/off different ones, etc. and the site will remember the layout for each user. PageFlakes exhibits this, and it's groovy.

Lastly for today's offering of web-surfing loveliness, check out Top 10 Sources. You'll spend hours there and on the links you'll find. You're welcome!

Another interesting tidbit... it seems I'll be getting a Mac laptop at work in the near future, in addition to my PC. I got to see some of OSX Tiger in action today (I worked on Panther for a small while last year, and I already dig some of the new features I saw) - and I have to say, I was quite impressed. I see some features there that they are supposed to have in Windows Vista (which is supposed to ship late this year supposedly) and I have to say... the geek in me is anxious to play. I know they say "Once you go Mac, you never go back..." (I know I heard something like that once...) I still don't forsee buying one for home anytime soon... but if the company's buying, I'm game.

Winter Weather WTF?

2006-02-17T00:11:00.000-05:00

In the past twelve hours here in West Michigan, we have experienced the following weather elements (in this order): sun, rain, freezing rain, hail, thunderstorm (with lightning), a TORNADO watch, more freezing rain, torrential thunderstorm, sleet, and most recently (and currently) snow.

According to my calculations, the next event should be locusts.

The televesion tickers are announcing the numerous schools and facilities that are already closed for tomorrow... but since I do not attend any of these, I can only look forward to a fun-filled adventure into work come 8am. Granted, my office is only twenty minutes away from my home, so it's not a horrible drive... but our last winter storm almost tripled my commute time.

Although, at this current pace, I may wake up to a tropical heat wave.

I really hope I'm wrong about the locusts though. Driving through them for twenty minutes would be both crunchy and disgusting.

All I see are shadows and shapes...

2006-02-11T02:12:00.000-05:00

My wife and I drove down to Kalamazoo Thursday night to see another one of our favorite stand-up comedians, Brian Regan. I bought the tickets back in December when the day they went on sale, so we ended up with pretty decent seats, dead center.

Brian is definitely a comedian where there is a huge benefit from sitting closer (although the State Theater in Kzoo is a smaller venue, and pretty much every seat offers a decent view.) He's very animated, and makes us laugh even when he's not saying anything... a talent that few people have. He's been around for quite some time, and I'm actually surprised that he's not a much bigger name. Those who have seen him before, either on one of his many late night appearances or his Comedy Central special, rarely forget him though... and he has a very large following. I saw him back about this time last year in Ann Arbor, and like then, I laughed so hard my face hurt by the end.

If you have not heard his stuff, buy his CD Brian Regan Live - today. It's been out for a while, but it's a classic. He's got a newer DVD of a performance as well that is fantastic, I Walked on the Moon. Hopefully, a new CD is in the works soon. You can visit his website by clicking on the little picture of him I posted here too.

They're not friendship holidays!!!

2006-02-01T23:26:00.000-05:00

My stepson goes to a public charter school, and it's a pretty decent school for the most part.

However, I feel at times as if they are robbing him of valuable childhood dreams, like ones my wife and I have of school growing up, and it is really starting to piss me off.

It's beyond political correctness, and it's beyond nullifying religious overtones in public school.

It started in October. They do not recognize Halloween. The kids do not dress up, they do not have a parade, they do not eat candy or decorate pumpkins. I thought that was a bit weird... but I reasoned that maybe they didn't want to leave some kids out whose parents could not afford costumes or whatever. Regardless, we remember as children dressing up, having a parade in our costumes through all the classrooms, and having little parties. I remember back to kindergarten (and that alone is a huge feat for me), when I wore the Batman costume my Mom made for me. Hell, I still have that costume, and my stepson even wore it a few years back (trick or treating, not at school.)

I got over it, until December. I saw it coming, but of course, they had a small "holiday party." They do not say Christmas, or Chanukah, etc. This is to be understood in public schools nowadays I suppose... and even though I still take issue with it, I accept it more having grown up in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood, and experiencing the same. It didn't piss me off as much as the whole "Holiday Tree" debacle that was in the media.

Now get this. Even though the upcoming Valentine's Day is not a holiday, and I myself am not a huge fan of this manufactured day... you will not believe what they are doing at my stepson's school. They call it "Friendship Day." They don't do Valentines. What the hell?!?!

My wife and I both remember decorating shoebox "mailboxes," that we put on our desks, and then passed out Valentine's Day cards to all our classmates (the only rule was that everyone got one, so no hurt feelings.)

For crying out loud... people need to lighten up! These days are important for kids... because they are supposed to be FUN and provide a little break in the monotony of learning. They are to be looked forward to, enjoyed, and remembered.

It sort of reminds me of college, but the only holiday we changed like that was in March... I think we called it "Drink Green Beer and Pass Out Wasted Before 10AM Day." Something like that, anyway...

Forbidden cookies...

2006-01-30T00:48:00.000-05:00

I love cookies. Specifically, I love chocolate chip cookies. Declaritively, I love homemade chocolate chip cookies. They both are fantastic and delicious, and I enjoy them when they are hot out of the oven.

I got home from grocery shopping, and my wife was baking some. The smell was fantastic.

I was then informed that we were not to eat any of them, as they were for my stepson's first grade class tomorrow, and she wasn't sure if there would be enough.

I still can't figure out why she didn't just make more... but I know if I offer that question out to her, I'll only get a response that I won't understand either.

Now I can smell mouth-watering goodness throughout the house, and I cannot access the source to endulge myself.

That's just plain mean.

Sweet Home Mama Jamma...

2006-01-19T23:45:00.000-05:00

Tonight, I got to thinking (and no, it didn't really hurt that bad.)

This weekend my wife, stepson and I were going to go back to Detroit to visit my parents. Plans fell through, so now we're going next weekend. But it got me thinking, as we discussed the plans to go to my parents' house.

Not too long ago, when going back there, I referred to it as "going home" for the weekend. As a side effect of getting older, I realize now that it is "going to my parents' house."

They still live in the house I grew up in from the age of about two until about nineteen, when I went away to college. After that time, it was just my summer residence, but it was still - for the most part - "home."

After my third year at college, I stopped going home for the summers, and my habitation became the college town I was in, living in apartments with various interesting roommates, and eventually on my own. Throughout this time period, however, going back to Detroit was still "going home."

I think part of the reason was that I still had my room there. I had stuff in that room (which was essentially a free storage facility that contained a lot of old comic books, and remains of clothes that only functioned as nostalgia.) A few years ago, I bought a house, got married, and now have my own family. In the past year specifically, I was finally encouraged to take all of my stuff out of my old room at my parents' house... and by "encouraged," I mean they showed up one weekend with an SUV full of my things.

My old room has now been converted into a baby lodge. This last summer, my sister gave birth to twins, and they now have a wonderful place to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. It has been suggested that this room will also serve as a guest room for other infant lodgers... and by "suggested," I mean that it has been stated that it is now my turn to generate future guests.

My room, one emblazoned with racecar wallpaper and hundreds of G.I. Joe figures and accessories, is now yellow with two cribs in it.

My room, which once was my cave full of dirty clothes and comic books, now houses a diaper genie and a stockpile of burp cloths.

Standing in it at Christmas, I realized it didn't really look like my room any more... because it wasn't.

Home is where your heart is, they say. A lame cliche I know, and not completely accurate. Home is where your heart, and all of your shit, is.

It's weird growing up sometimes...

I think I got it...

2006-01-18T23:22:00.000-05:00

Ok... this is it for now. I think I have it laid out how I want for the most part. I may tweak it again in the future, but I'm ok with this for now.

I changed, I published, I messed stuff up...

2006-01-17T23:32:00.000-05:00

Ok... still monkeying around with this thing. I did some serious goofery,and totally messed this thing up for a short bit. I ended up reverting and starting over. It's still funky, but I'm sick of messing with it for tonight. At least I got my footer back... it was buried behind my main content DIV for a while. CSS is fun, but it sure can be touchy.

So yeah, I know things don't look right.

As soon as I get this little world all sorted out, I'll be back to posting. I'm gonna mess with it over the next few days.

It's not like I'm interrupting anyone's experience here. Not many people read this thing. Deal with it.

Skin me baby one more time...

2006-01-11T08:31:00.000-05:00

Notice anything different? I'm going to be tweaking this thing a little bit more...

Things may look a little screwy off and on while I play around with some stuff.

Bear with me...

Guns Don't Kill People, Chuck Norris Does.

2006-01-08T21:56:00.000-05:00

Ok, stop me if you've heard this one...

...I just received a forwarded email that I actually hadn't received before, and it was HILARIOUS. In fact, it inflicted upon me one of the best laughs I've had in a long time.

It is rare that I get one of these type of emails that I either haven't gotten several dozen times before, or are more than mildly humorous. For these reasons, I share this with you now.

Here are some of facts about Chuck Norris that you might not have known:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris invented cancer because he was tired of killing people.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying “Booya.”
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

It's like a whole 'nother year, all over again...

2005-12-31T01:41:00.000-05:00

Holy crap. Another year has flown by. 2005 seemed to go by pretty fast, but then again... I say that every year. We all do. It's a pretty tired cliche, and I'm a bit annoyed at myself for using it. But it's true.

Before 2005 completely fades into the blur of all of the other years in which I cannot recall what the hell I did in them... I ponder upon the year's events, and realize a lot has happened.

Last year, I had one full-time job that ended when my department was shut down, then spent seven months unemployed, faced against a dry job market. This year, I have worked at five different companies - four contract positions, and now I am salaried once again.
I no longer hate Macs, and although I do not own one and don't plan to, I have worked on one and liked it, and now own an iPod.
I turned 30. I now feel pangs inside when purchasing alcohol and do not get carded (what previously was a "cool" thing.)
My sister gave birth to twin girls... and for the first time, I was exposed babies that I did not grow tired of after a few hours. I love them dearly...
...as a result, I no longer fear having a baby... in fact, I am now very anxious for it to happen. This is very new to me.
I spent an obnoxious amount of time playing games this past year at night in my valuable "free time." Some of this year's favorites included Need for Speed: Most Wanted for PS2, Bookworm, Zuma, Luxor (a different, yet better version of Zuma), Text Twist (my wife and I play this one all the time together), Flip Words, Chuzzle Deluxe, and F.E.A.R., to name a few. This year, I'm hoping to read some more books, too..
I really only finished one custom this year... Neo from The Matrix. Although I have worked on dozens. I swear I'm going to finish some of these soon...
As of this mid-2005, I now collect Hot Wheels. Go figure. I honestly never would have saw that one coming. But they're cool... and fun to customize as well. They're also cheaper than action figures... of course, that would only be helpful if I stopped buying action figures... although I seriously have slowed that purchasing WAY down.
I have begun selling off a good chunk of my action figure collection. I listed six figures last week (I'm going to start off in smaller batches). Four of them sold, for a total of $86. I like the way this is headed. I also have been selling them to some of the artists at the place I got my recent tattoo... and one has offered me a trade for services. I'm tempted. We'll see.

And that's not even everything. Of course, I'm leaving out many hours of just sitting around doing nothing, working, daily hygeine and the like... but we all know that's just boring. Hell, I'm surprised you're even reading this.

Ah yes, I also spent a couple hours this year doing this. I'll do more blogging this year as well. Especially once I get past that wall of "coming up with something blog-worthy to write about" each day. Maybe I'll invest more effort into my thoughts and become more witty and insightful and humorous. But then you have to tell your friends so I get more readers. Then I can be a bigshot "Indie Blogger," and I can have readers who I won't have time to correspond with, and I can be super popular in geek circles and get my blog listed on some crazy website's "Best Blogs" list. Then I can make T-Shirts and coffee mugs with some crazy logo on it, and when your friends see it, they'll be all like "Yeah that dude's site ROCKS!" We can DO this, people. If that skank ass Paris Hilton can be popular, so can I goddamnit.

Happy New Year, folks. Let's all try not to fuck this up.

Twas the night before Christmas...

2005-12-25T00:18:00.000-05:00

I know it's officially Christmas right now, but it has felt like Christmas is over to me already. Alex had his Christmas morning today, since he spends Christmas Day with his dad this year (we alternate each year).

Needless to say, he's a lucky kid... since Santa visits him twice each year. It's nice that he still believes in Santa... I wonder how much longer it will last before one of his classmates spoils it for him or he figures it out.

He was thrilled with his haul... and the air hockey table Santa brought was a huge hit. He didn't really ask for much this year (the only things he really asked for were - get this - a new hamper for his room and a new snow shovel... what a kid!)... and the table thing was a reach. Seriously though... what boy wouldn't like an air hockey table?

We played with it all damn day.

He also got a crapload of Hot Wheels, Legos and games. Can't go wrong with those for a six-and-a-half year old boy... and he even got a new snow shovel and a Darth Vader clothes hamper.

It's funny how when you're older, Christmas becomes more of a chore. Although, it is all worth it when you watch the joy and excitement on a child's face when the magic all comes alive. Alex says he even heard the reindeer on the room last night in the middle of the night. Gotta love the imagination!

Off to Detroit tomorrow and Monday to spend time with my side of the family... hopefully the weather is ok. This rainy, foggy Christmas is a weird thing...

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Brotherhood of the Alarming Pants...

2005-12-23T01:56:00.000-05:00

For the last week or so, I have been setting off store security alarms whenever I walk out of - and INTO - retail stores. It started getting to the point that my wife didn't want to enter or leave stores at the same time as me.

BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! Hey - We have a shoplifter!! Everybody look!!

It seriously became annoying... yet it amazed me how many stores just waved me out as I'm setting off the alarm as I walked out the gates.

While doing some final Christmas shopping with my wife the other day, I set the alarm off while we were leaving Toys R Us. I stopped, as I have gotten used to doing, and explained that I have been setting these things off wherever I go. The manager was nice, and had me just open up my coat. I set it off again. Must be my wallet I say, thinking perhaps it was my scan card for work messing with the electronics. I hand my wallet to my wife... BEEP BEEP BEEP. The manager asks if he can just scan my coat, and then I can be on my way. No problem. I hand him my coat, then just as he is walking away, I test the scanner again. BEEP BEEP BEEP. Clearly, I am not showing bulges (aside of my normal rippling muscles and other normal GIGANTIC bulges of mine)... so he hands my coat back and says (clearly believing I am not a thief) to check my clothes... that some places use new tags with sensors built into the seams.

I get to thinking... hmmm... I am wearing new jeans. As I have been pretty much every time this has occurred...

I get home, and sure as hell, there is a tag sewn into the seam on one pantleg with a message "Remove Before Wearing or Washing." I cut the damn thing out, held it up to the light, and clearly saw the telltale pattern of an alarm sensor tag.

Who thinks to look in the leg of their jeans for these things?? The Gap surely didn't warn me of this when I bought the damn jeans...

At least my pants won't get me into any more trouble. For now...

Hot, Buttered Blessings...

2005-12-19T23:43:00.000-05:00

I have experienced two very similar events in the last week that have got me thinking very profoundly on the condition of human nature. The more I think about it, the more my brain hurts, but I feel the need to share it... as it seems worth mentioning.

A week ago or so, I purchased a Christmas item for my wife online at target.com. Upon receiving it, I realized it was the wrong item. I then read the instructions on the packing slip, which clearly states that "this is NOT a receipt." If I wish to return the item, I may do so at any Target store... just visit target.com, where I bought the item, and follow the clearly stated URL to a form where I submit to them that I am returning this item. I then got a page, with my return receipt, for me to print out and bring with the item to the store for my refund. No problem... and it took me all of three minutes. I went to the local Target, item and receipt in tow, and went to the service counter to process my return.

Needless to say, the clerk I got was flabbergasted. Why you ask?

Well, as she said: "Bless your heart. You are the FIRST PERSON I have EVER had return an item from an online sale who brought a receipt."

I wasn't performing a miracle... and while I am not a religious person (I'm fairly certain she was not affiliated with the clergy either), I accepted her blessing. Although I was taken aback... it wasn't that big of a deal in my eyes. I followed the directions, and did what I was clearly directed to do to process my return. From her reaction, and curteousy as a result, you'd have thought I cured her from a life-threatening illness and offered to bake her cookies.

As a consumer, I am used to having to go through a ton of hassle in order to return an item (although that's another topic altogether), so I merely went through the motions to ease MY end of the transaction as much as possible. The clerk, err... associate, was very helpful, processed the return, and as a token of appreciation for my bringing the receipt, gave me a coupon for a free small popcorn at the Target eatery thingy and another thank you. Not a major award or anything, but still unwarranted on my behalf nonetheless.

Now today, I went to Sears to purchase (on behalf of Santa) an air hockey table for my stepson. I was delighted to find that it was an additional twenty dollars off the already discounted price that the sign on the display boasted. Big bonus for the evening.

I get my claim ticket to take to the customer service area for pick-up (this thing is pretty big). I walked to my car, arranged the items within as needed, folded down my back seats, and got everything ready to load and go. Again, I did this for MY benefit, to make it as easy as possible for ME. Load and go home... just the way I like my Christmas shopping to transpire.

I pulled into the loading area, went in and scanned my receipt, and two minutes later a guy came out with the box on a dolly. I escorted him to my car, popped the trunk, and helped him put it in.

His words to me: "Wow, man... props to you for having your car ready to go. Thank you so much." I said it wasn't a big deal. He said, "No, seriously... you are the first person I have helped load an item that had everything ready to go like this."

Holy shit!

I started thinking on my drive home minutes later how bad it must suck to have to wait on customers all day, and how stupid, ignorant and rude some people must truly be for the simplest of things to bring such light to a retail worker's shift.

Again, I'll admit the things I did were purely for my own gratification, to make MY experience easier... but I also did these things because to me, it seems like that is what I am SUPPOSED to do. Yeah, it's curteousy, but for crying out loud... it wasn't that hard. It took very little effort on my part both times.

I am amazed more people don't think to do the simplest things that can make another person's day. It really worries me about the human race sometimes. I wonder how easier a lot of things could be if people just take a moment to think. Not just for selfish reasons, but to help out someone else as well.

I feel for retailers. Well, not the money-grubbing son-of-a-bitches who actually own the chains, and rake in the dough at the expense of small business owners and consumers alike, but the folks who work at them. Well, most of them (I'd like to exclude most of the employees of WalMart, Home Depot and Menards, along with a few others... whose employees are quite often stupider than most of the idiots who shop in the stores.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is this (and I could just be filled with a bunch of holiday spirit when I say it): Be curteous when you can. Especially if the person hasn't done anything to you to make you act otherwise, and is just doing their job. After all, you're just doing your job - buying. You don't have to be a prick as well.

Who knows... you may even get free popcorn!

Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog...

2005-12-16T02:12:00.000-05:00

Well, I've taken a break from the organizing of my music collection and loading my iPod with all sorts of wonderful stuff. It's about as organized as it's gonna get for a while... I'm getting burned out with iTunes for now... I need a break.

The iPod, however, remains fantastic. I just got an FM modulator for it, so I can now enjoy my loaded catalog over my car radio... and that friggin' rocks (pun not intended, but I'll pretend it was.)

I've been feeling a little empty that I haven't done a lot of customizing of anything lately, especially after making a trip to Captain Ron's house... where he has been tinkering away at some fine projects. It fired up my creative ADD, so I have been whirring away on the dremel the past couple nights. What's that you ask? Dremel? You thought I was painting the Mandarin Spawn you say? Well, that's the curse of the aforementioned creative affliction I have... new idea, new project. I'll come back to the other stuff after I've started a few more projects... Sometimes I go backwards before I go forwards, but then sometimes I go forward, only to go backwards. And sometimes I just sort of tread water...

Seriously though, I have to finish up some of these things I started... it's getting messy down here.... and cluttered. I hate clutter. Clutter makes my brain angry.

I also have another task awaiting my attention... there is a GIANT pile of action figures upstairs that I have set aside to sell. It'll be nice to free up some space, and make a few bucks (hopefully) in the process. Fret not, it's not nearly my whole collection... just getting rid of some multiples, and some others I've grown tired of or can't figure out why I got in the first place. I'll post a link when I put stuff out on the 'Bay... in case you feel the need to assimilate some of my collection into yours, for example... or have the need for a a six inch sculpture of a mostly naked bloody guy hanging from hooks, with an mutant baby-laden sac protruding from him, for example. Or a robot. I have both...

I should probably get to bed, it being 2:30am and all. Good thing I don't have to go into the office tomorrow (working from home while they are doing some expanding of our office space). I can sit at my PC in my jammies all day! And come Monday, I'll finally have a real cubicle - not a temporary station, as I have been at for the last month. Very cool. I can even decorate it... but not with the six inch sculpture of a mostly naked bloody guy hanging from hooks, with an mutant baby-laden sac protruding from him. So please buy it from me.

PS - Does the title of this post confuse you? Read it backwards...

Podcasting killed the radio star...

2005-12-11T01:20:00.000-05:00

To clarify my previous post, it wasn't all whining and begging that got the early Christmas present... there was a level of bribery as well.

In exchange for MY gift early, my wife got hers early as well. Part of it was a remote car starter that got put in a few weeks ago for the winter months... the other part being an XM radio receiver for her car... so it wasn't all selfish. And I don't care that I'll have nothing to open on Christmas morning... being an adult, that magic is pretty much gone in my own heart now. The joy is watching my stepson open his presents now (which we will be doing on Christmas Eve this year, since we take turns each year with his father for Xmas day.)

Anyhow, the iPod does indeed rock. The video quality is amazing, as is the sound. I use it all the time, and I already have about 32 of the 60 gigabytes full of multimedia (last I checked on iTunes, it equalled about 29.2 days worth of entertainment.)

I am now also hooked on podcasts. No, you don't need an iPod or even iTunes to enjoy these... they are to today's media what ham or underground radio once was. Essentially, any idiot with a PC and a microphone can have a "radio show..." and there are a bajillion (I just counted) of them out there. There's a ton of crap... but lots of jems. I subscribe to about 20 of them now... from tech talk ones to just plain hilarity... these are loads of fun. I'll share my favorites in future posts.

If I had the time (as it stands, I barely have time for any of my other dozens of hobbies), I'd even give the podcasting thing a whirl myself. In all honesty though, I'd probably only get around to making one or two a year though... and even then, they'd just be laden with excuses on why I never have time to podcast...

...much like this blog has gotten to be.

I'll work on that. I promise.

-- R.I.P. Richard Pryor. A legend of Comedy is lost. :(

Christmas comes early...

2005-12-08T23:38:00.000-05:00

After roughly a week of whining and begging, my wife finally caved in and let me have my Christmas present early!

I'll post more tomorrow... I'm wasting valuable time here that I could be spending with my iPod.

O Christmas Tree... What a Pain You Are to Me...

2005-12-04T23:47:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm finally getting in the Christmas spirit. It's been a while, and last year was a pretty bad year, so Christmas wasn't super cheery around here. This year though, I'm finally embracing it a little... now that Thanksgiving is over, and it's like three weeks away from Christmas.

I assembled the tree last week... yes, ASSEMBLED (real trees, while nice smelling, are for sadists.) It's a new fake tree, a hand-me-down from the folks since they went with a "slimmer" fake tree this year. I will admit, it's pretty nice for a fake tree... and puts our old "Charlie Brown" fake tree we had the last two years to shame.

This did, however, mean I had to make a quick run to Target for more lights... as this one took about 9 stands total. And holy crap was it a pain in the ass.

The decorating committe consisted of my wife and stepson (I build and light)... and it looks quite nice. We don't do the multi-colored rainbow light thing, nor the basic all white... we go with a simle red and white scheme. All the ornaments are reds, silvers, chromes, etc. It's pretty stunning... and I like it.

I have also spent an enormous amount of time organizing my MP3 collection in anticipation for my iPod. iTunes is pretty cool, and it feels nice to be organized. I did realize that I have an incredible amount of music too... several hundred gigabytes total. I'm about a sixth of the way through them...

And I'm hooked on this stupid game. It's like crack, I tell ya.

I Walk in the Garden of K-Mart and Bite the Apple...

2005-11-28T00:54:00.000-05:00

Well, it's the end of a four day weekend... they always go by so fast. It was a nice chance to relax and do some fun stuff. We got a chance to see some good movies too... most notably, Walk the Line with Joaquin Phoenix (who plays Cash) and Reese Witherspoon (who plays June Carter Cash). I'll preface this mini-review with this statement: I never was a big Johnny Cash fan, and knew little about him before seeing this film. I was still intrigued to see it... and I am really, really glad I did. I think it's safe to say that it sparked enough of an interest in me now that I am becoming a fan of his music. The film encapsulates Cash's early career, and takes the audience through his journey of success, addiction, family and love life. It's very entertaining, and the two and a half hours of it fly by. I almost wish it had been longer.

As far as the film goes, my prediction (and an obvious one) is that we will see Oscar nominations for this film for Best Actor, Best Supporting Actress, and Best Soundtrack. Both Phoenix and Witherspoon pull off amazing performances, and sing their own music. And they're good. Really, really good. Go see this film... don't make excuses.

The only bad thing about this movie was that some retarded girl threw up in the theater, and we were treated to a nice strong stench of puke until the ushers came and doused it with some powder and spray. We all got free soda coupons afterwards though...

We also watched Garden State, which I bought on DVD on Friday. It was written and directed by Zach Braff, who is best known for his role as the main character, J.D., in the NBC hit series Scrubs. It is a quirky and humorous film, with an intriguing storyline to boot. Without going into too much depth, it's the story of a guy who goes back home for his mother's funeral... and faces his past and himself, with the help of a girl (Natalie Portman). They both pull off very likeable performances, and really pull you into the film.

We also went to K-Mart on Saturday morning for the "K Days" Hot Wheels collector's event. My wife actually WANTED to go... so we trekked out there in the morning, and got to be a part of it. It works like this: they get a bunch of new cases (at this location, 88) of Hot Wheels... containing new cars, including 6 exclusive repaints available only at this even. The rare, sought-after treasure hunt cars ("T-Hunts") are mixed in, at a ratio of about 1 in 7 cases, or about 15% of the store stock (I have read reports though in some areas that they got 100+ cases, and not a single T-Hunt.) Everyone in attendance gets a raffle ticket, then they draw numbers, 4 at a time. Those 4 people go up to the table, each get a sealed case, and then get 5 minutes to open the cases and pick out 5 cars. The rest of the case goes to the side, which no one else can go through until the very end when they dump them into bins. Once everyone has gone, and if there are still cases, they do another round. We did two full rounds, plus part of a third. My wife got drawn twice, and I got drawn three times. On the first pick of the first round, my wife got called up, and due to some coaching beforehand (no one is allowed to "help" the people opening the cases), she did very good - and got a T-Hunt! (Our only one of the day).

We ended up spending 4 hours at K-Mart on Saturday (we got there an hour early, and the drawing took forever...), but we both had fun. I was happy that she was interested in experiencing the event with me (it was my first time at one of these things), and she had fun doing it too. Aside of spending 4 hours in a K-Mart, it was pretty fun.

We also did our Christmas shopping for each other... and bought each other our gifts. However, we aren't exchanging them until Christmas. Dammit. It especially sucks, because we both know what our gift is...

I got my wife an XM radio unit for her car (and it hooks into an optional home boombox)... and the other part of her gift was a remote car starter (which she did actually get already, as it was installed on Saturday).

As for me... well, I know I had wanted an iPod Nano... as they are really neat and small and cool. Then I saw one of the new iPods when one of the guys I used to work with got one... and I instantly fell in love. I didn't know if I could pull off getting one for Christmas... but I did! So now, sitting in my wife's closet, is my new black 60Gb iPod... and I want it right this instant. This is going to be the longest month EVER.

...I already installed iTunes, and have been organizing my music for readiness to load.

...and that includes a lot of Johnny Cash songs.

Wax off...

2005-11-25T15:32:00.000-05:00

Actor Pat Morita, best known for his roles of Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid and the second Arnold in Happy Days, has passed away at age 73 of natural causes.

Rest in peace, Mr. Miyagi.

I can't think of a witty title for this post...

2005-11-22T23:54:00.000-05:00

Alas, this past weekend, the snow all melted... leaving piles of wet leaf humps littered around our house. Still unable to clean them up, it doesn't appear that I'll be getting rid of them this holiday weekend... as round two is supposedly on its way tomorrow. We're supposed to get 1-3" of snow, and as I mentioned in my last post, means we should expect about a foot. Woo hoo.

I did notice a ton of houses in my neighborhood put up a lot of Christmas decorations this past weekend too... although some had put them up while taking down their Halloween paraphernalia. We have a general rule in our house: not until AFTER Thanksgiving... which means we will become festive this coming weekend.

Had an eventful couple of days since my last post. On Sunday, I woke up.. and had apparently decided to do some major cleaning while I slept. My wife reminded me of this shortly after I got up. It seems the toy collection has been taking up quite a bit of room in my half of the attic space, and has left the Lab in quite a clutter (not helped by the moving of stuff around since the flood). I had been meaning to do some organizing for a while anyhow. It seems my collection has simply grown to capacity. So... nine hours later, I have gone through all my storage boxes, and set aside a quite significant pile of figures to sell. So in the weeks to come, I'll be doing some ebaying... while making some revenue and much-needed space in the process.

My wife and I celebrated our second anniversary on Monday. Two years. It seems like much longer, but I don't mean that in a bad way at all. It just seems we've gone through a lot these past couple years, with turmoil in employment to minor home catastrophes... and your normal marriage issues. I don't have any complaints, and wouldn't change a thing.

I found it a bit humorous though in perspective... last year, for our first anniversary, we dressed up and went to a really fancy restaurant, and spent more money on a single meal than we've ever spent on a meal before in our lives. This year, we wore jeans, and had steaks in a restaurant with peanut shells on the floor.

It's not to say we don't care... we were both very happy with the choice. We were comfortable, as we are with each other. Comfort is a good thing... and sometimes, just being comfortable with the one you love is all that matters.

To further illustrate that point, I'll share with you a bit of our conversation of the evening...

I had made mention that adding the word "ass" in front of other words makes them much more funny. For instance, earlier in the day I had come up with the word "asscaptain" to describe a fellow motorist on my way home, who had decided that going twenty miles an hour below the speed limit was perfectly acceptable behavior. I shared this word with my wife, as well as some others that I had come up with that day... including "asspilot," and "assbandit" (an old favorite). She then came up with a great one: "assfritters."

We then made "assfritters" a running joke of the evening, and I even dared her to ask the waitress to bring us a steaming plate of assfritters (which she declined to do.) On the way home we came up with a bunch more, randomly selecting words we saw on buildings and sign to add to our humor-inducing prefix.

Some others we came up with: assvacuum (which does invoke quite disturbing imagery), assburger, assgremlin (another new favorite of mine), and asscanal (which can be used in several very literal manners as well.)

God... I love her.

PS - I know you're doing it now too. Feel free to post your creative asswords!

Sulking in a Winter Blunderland...

2005-11-17T23:49:00.000-05:00

Whoever invented snow sucks.

Why is it that when you follow a weather report in Michigan, when they forecast rain... it never freaking rains? However, when they forecast snow - in this instance, "maybe an inch of snow" - it snows WAY the hell more than they predict (in this instance, about 6+ inches).

I've lived in Michigan my entire life, and I still can't figure that shit out. Having grown up on the east side of the state, winters were hit or miss... and when it snowed, you got snow for a day, and then it stopped. It STOPPED. At least for a couple days in between.

In West Michigan, however (where I have lived for about six and a half years now), we get this thing called "lake effect snow." This was a new concept to me when I first moved here... and what it means is this: It snows, then it snows, and then it snows and blows, and intermittenly, it snows like freaking hell. It is a phenomena, or in meteorologist terms - an "event" - when cold air, passing for long distances over the relatively warm waters of Lake Michigan, picks up moisture and heat and is then forced to drop the moisture in the form of snow upon reaching the downwind shore - and in the strong cold air flow behind the storm's cold front, the cold front passage will often be followed by a 24 to 36-hour period of blustery northerly or westerly winds, falling temperatures and persistent flurries of fluffy snow, accompanied by falling and blowing snow and reduced visibility intermixed with brief periods of partly cloudy skies and some blowing snow. When lake-effect snow squalls are well developed, there may be less than 12 hours between the last of them and the more widespread snowfall of the next cyclonic storm system. What does this really mean? It means I can do a Google search and plagarize a bunch of crap I can find describing it.

As a sidenote... wouldn't you expect someone with the title of meteorologist to work at NASA or something? They should be called weatherologists.

Another "event" I have experienced here in West Michigan, that I had never heard of before in my entire life until living here: Thundersnow. This also occurs close to very large lakes (we have a couple here in Michigan) and it has something to do with convection, and ions and negative and positive charges and a bunch of other crap I slept through in college science classes. What it boils down to is this... thunder, lightning, and really, really heavy snow. It happened a couple times last year, and I have to admit... it's a bit astounding. It's the kind of weather you expect to experience right before zombies start sprouting up in the garden.

And so now I have, in my yard, a pretty decent accumulation of snow. Underneath this snow, if you were to dig into it, you will find an equally pretty decent accumulation of leaves, having just fallen off the trees in the past two weeks since Halloween, that I have been too lazy or busy to rake up.

It continues to snow - and according to the weather geniuses - will continue to do so every day for the next week (even though they can barely determine what will happen eight hours from now, apparently they can see seven days into the future now.)

At least I don't have to rake those damn leaves this weekend...

Icky yucky blah blah blah...

2005-11-15T23:57:00.000-05:00

Just read the weather reports... snow is in the forecast for tomorrow, the day after, the day after that, and the day after that....

Living in Michigan my whole life, you'd think I'd like winter by now... but I dread it every year. We had an unusually hot summer this past year, and it stayed warm well into the Fall... I guess it was bound to happen. Usually, we get two seasons around here... Winter and August.

I'm the new guy!

2005-11-15T23:39:00.000-05:00

The new job is finally getting into swing... I finished up with my orientation this afternoon, and got a chance to sit at my computer today. I guess when they hired me, they were already at maximum seating capacity, so my area is a converted station, previously used for scanning documents, etc. It's not a cubicle per se, and my desk area actually sits higher than the other cubes, so I have this "I can see all of you" kind of seating arrangement. It feels more like "Hey- there's the new guy on display!"

Our whole department is undergoing a cubicle rearrangement in a few weeks, where I will be provided my own normal cube. And an Aeron chair... sweet.

I saw a T-shirt once that said "You can have my Aeron when you pry it from my cold, dead ass." True, true words...

I'm liking things so far, even though I haven't really done any actual work yet... but I have been given an overview of what's in store for me, and it sounds pretty cool.

Did I mention I'm gonna get an Aeron chair?

My brain hurts...

2005-11-12T10:00:00.000-05:00

I go out drinking maybe a handful of times a year... and of those times I consume one or two beers at the most.

Well... yesterday was my last day as a contractor (or "leased employee" if you want to go by the Corporate USA, bureaucratic term they use). No, my contract wasn't up, and no, I wasn't mysteriously escorted out of the building, never to return (as I've seen happen)... I left on my own accord. I was offered a "real," full-time, salaried position at another company last week, and I start on Monday.

Needless to say, my last day proved to be a wonderful excuse for us all to go to the bar and eat, drink, and be merry. Well, a couple people did eat... we all drank... and by the end of the night, if you called me Mary, I probably wouldn't even have noticed.

I had a blast, and I'm really glad so many people came out. It put something into focus last night, too. While I am excited about my new job, I have felt a little bummed about leaving these past two weeks. I had a hard time figuring out why I wasn't more excited to leave... it is, after all, a great opportunity, doing more of what I am trained to. It crystallized last night, as I looked around the table. I am going to miss the people... the friends I have made over this past half a year.

While the company may have its shortcomings (as every large corporation is bound to have), the people with whom I've worked with are just plain awesome. I am going to miss my friends there, I am going to miss the environment they created... but scarecrow, I am going to miss you the most of all...

I know, I'll make more friends at my new job, but I don't want to forget the friends I made there... as inevitably has happened at other jobs in the past. You guys are cool as fucking hell! (that one's for Lori, who just discovered last night that yes, I do swear a lot... especially when I am consuming alcohol.)

Mushy crap aside, I had a blast last night... and drank about... hmm... ok, I have no idea. But I know there was a JagerBomb in there somewhere...

It is always interesting going to an event with co-workers where alcohol is flowing. Those are the times you TRULY learn things about who you work, or in my case, workED with. And yes, I had some very deep and interesting conversations, some of which remain a little blurry today, but nonetheless...

I woke up at around 5AM this morning to the sound of my brain trying to escape from my skull. Three Advil and a tall glass of water later, I went back to bed, and eventually fell back asleep. My head feels ok now, but my lungs aren't too happy with the fifteen or so clove cigarettes I smoked over the course of eight hours at the bar (yeah, I left right around midnight.) I hope everyone made it home safely?

Oh man... now I have to drive across the state this afternoon to Fenton to bid farewell to my buddy Howie, who is moving to Pittsburgh this week. His going away party is at... a bar.

This is going to be interesting...

Secret ingredients...

2005-11-10T00:13:00.000-05:00

Due to rising oil prices, Kraft has announced that they will be raising the price of Oreos by 4%. This worries me... and not just because I like Oreos (which I do... because they're yummy.)

Is oil a secret ingredient?? Is that why they're really dark brown and stain your teeth? More importantly - should I be crushing these things up and shoving them in my gas tank??

Come to think of it, that would be pretty cool... a car that ran on cookies. Plus, the environment would be less polluted, as gas fumes would be replaced with the smell of freshly baked treats. Personally, I know that's a smell I'd rather inhale over normal exhaust any day (except for Mondays, where I don't really care much about anything.)

Also, I saw that Jones Soda has released its 2005 Holiday Pack... a limited holiday novelty assortment, containing unique blends of soda. On the menu this year are Turkey & Gravy, Wild Herb Stuffing, Brussel Sprout, Cranberry and Pumpkin Pie. I can't help but wonder how exactly they are concocting such flavors as gravy covered bird in a soda form... unless they have some sort of magical contraption they purchased from Willy Wonka? If that's the case, I would have expected at least one of the bottles to be Snozzberry.

I saw this assortment pack at Target today for $10... I was tempted to give them a try, but I figured if I was going to throw away ten bucks, I could come up with something a little more entertaining that wouldn't cause me to throw up halfway through. Like a Michael Moore DVD. No wait, scratch that...

To spare my own taste buds, but to satisfy my curiosity, I happened across a taste test of the Jones Soda Holiday Pack. Very entertaining, and much as I suspected. I think my favorite response was from one of the testers who said this of the Brussel Sprouts flavored soda: "The name says it all. If you add the words "mixed with shit.""

I'll take their word for it. I'm off now... I need to go start on a design for my "Keebler Kamaro."

Just a little bit special...

2005-11-03T00:14:00.000-05:00

With all the flooding and cleaning and such, I was distracted from what I had initially intended to post about last Sunday... and that would be the absolutely hilarious and entertaining show my wife and I went to Saturday night.

Granted, it was in Ann Arbor... and I think I've expressed my opinions of that city here in the past... but it was for a good cause - to see one of our favorite comedians (or singing comedian if you prefer) - Stephen Lynch.

It was my wife's second time seeing him, the first being earlier this year, when he toured with the late, and great, Mitch Hedberg. It was my first seeing him live, although I've seen his Comedy Central special, and two of his CDs are live performances (plus he has a DVD of a live show)... but they just don't compare. It was absolutely hysterical... and oh, so very, very wrong.

Listening to Lynch's music is a guilty pleasure... you laugh your ass off, and feel ashamed for laughing at the same time. Some of the topics of his songs include: "special" people, having one testicle, taxi drivers, gerbils in orifices, nazi girlfriends, Jesus's brother - Craig Christ, Satan (who is gay), a French homeless guy, killing kittens and Dungeons & Dragons. His lyrics are ironic, satiric, and extremely well written... and he has one hell of a singing voice. He's even going to be on Broadway soon... playing the lead character in the musical based off the movie The Wedding Singer (he plays the lead role of Robbie Hart... Adam Sandler's character in the movie). And he's from Michigan... so check him out and support your homies - if you have an open mind and are not easily offended. You'll be glad that you did...

Worst excuse EVER for having to clean the basement...

2005-10-31T09:25:00.000-05:00

Well... on the bright side, we've been meaning to clean out the basement for a while... it seems two years of eBaying accumulates a lot of empty boxes.

However, when I'm not at home and I get a phone call from my wife saying "HOW DO YOU TURN OF THE WATER?!?!?! THE BASEMENT IS FLOODING!!!" - the first thought in my mind was NOT "Hey, finally we'll get to clean the basement out!"

Luckily I wasn't too far from home (and I apologize to everyone on 28th street at about 8:45 PM last night, who I passed doing about 90mph)... and I got home in about 5 minutes to rush downstairs and shut the water off. Unfortunately it wasn't something I could have conveyed on the phone to a panicked wife (and I will admit, I was in a bit of shock too)... although we learned a valuable lesson last night: The water shut-off is located by the laundry tub.

Nothing major was destroyed... just a lot of water. Cement floors have turned out to be a blessing in disguise. And thankfully, the Lab is safe... it only seeped in a little, so none of my collection was damaged.

The fault lays now with the plumbing company, who installed our new water heater back in June. It seems the connection between pipes they installed... came undone. How lovely. Hey - guess who will be paying my insurance deductible?

So I'm home today from work waiting for the plumber to come back and finalize the repairs (they came out last night and temporarily fixed it). Then insurance adjusters, blah blah blah... oh what fun.

We also had a company come out to spray mold inhibitor, set up a giant dehumidifier and a bunch of fans to dry out the baseboards, etc. They also hauled off all our soaked empty boxes... which was cool. Apparently, they also clean up "traumas," which is a nice word for "murder scenes." I told them that I would never call them for that type of work... but my wife may at some point. They didn't laugh. Oh well... I tried.

Keep on truckin'... you assbag.

2005-10-25T21:02:00.000-04:00

"Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything." ~Charles Kuralt, On the Road With Charles Kuralt

...well, we survived the road trip. After a grueling 13 hour drive (that's only two WalMart visits and a couple rest area pit-stops), we made it to New Jersey at about 3AM on Friday.

I would just like to say this to all the semi drivers along I-80 in Ohio, Pennsylvania and New Jersey: I hope you all get syphilis.

It's bad enough that it began raining the moment we hit Ohio, and then started getting dark about an hour later (yeah, that accounted for about nine hours of our trip being dark and rainy)... but the semi drivers made the trek to New Jersey the beauty that it was. Our trip consisted of semi passing semi, passing semi, passing semi... sprinkled with cutting off cars, tailgaiting cars, with a bit of passing other semis thrown in to round things out.

This picture about sums up our trip in (and about half our trip back):

We also noticed, in the dark, rainy mountains of Pennsylvania, that there is an apparent infestation of what we could only discern as giant bunnies of some form. About five or six times we encountered remnants of these creatures splattered across the interstate... just tiny bits and pieces of blood and guts... and large chunks of white fluffy material. It was the strangest thing we'd ever seen, and since we both saw it quite clearly, it cannot be dismissed as hallucination. If the remnants were not that of giant bunnies (hit and destroyed by syphilis-infested semi drivers), then there can be only one other explanation: Deer in Pennsylvania are filled with cotton. And guts.

Luckily we hit no deer, and arrived in New Jersey safely. We enjoyed our brief stay, saw some cool stuff, and then headed back Sunday morning. Basically, two-thirds of our trip was spent in the rental car, travelling. Oh - and we didn't get the little 4-banger after all, but a G6 (the same type of car I normally drive)... however the absolute worst possible one, with no features or options aside of standard ones... and it was a really de-masculating light blue metallic color.

The ride home was a little better, as we passed through the mountains in daylight, and got to see the wonderful scenery we missed while avoiding late-night semis and giant bunnies.

Plus I bought this really cheesy lighter at some truck stop that lights up and shows a flaming jester when you open it, and the flame is green. My other purchases included a bunch of hard-to-find Hot Wheels (at the WalMarts on the way in), a bag of Salt and Vinegar potato chips, and a bunch of really crappy fast food.

All in all, it was a pretty decent trip. And no one got syphilis... that I know of.

Get your motor runnin'...

2005-10-21T02:10:00.000-04:00

ROAD TRIP!

In less than 9 hours, my buddy Captain Ron and I will be embarking on a 703.14 mile journey, encompassing 4 states (including Michigan)... destination: New Jersey. Why you ask? We're geeks.

Plus, it gives my wife a weekend free of having to put up with me.

The journey, which will take place in a fine rented automobile, should take us about 11 hours (according to MapQuest), but will likely take longer due to the fact that we are both toy collectors (and customizers). I figure there are a LOT of Wal-Marts between here and New Jersey... especially in Ohio. Call it a hunch.

I'm considering paying the extra $5 for the insurance on the rental car... I've always wanted to see what would happen if you just throw a car into reverse while trucking down the highway. I hear the whole transmission just falls right out. We're already shelling out the big bucks though... we upgraded to the hot-rod class 4-banger, so maybe we'd better just cut out the other "frills." We were going to go economy, but then we figured two guys, both of whom are about six feet tall, spending a half a day driving in a Geo Metro might not be the most confortable thing in the world. It's already bad enough that our primary diet for three days will be fast food... so cabin space is a valued commodity, as is a functional ventilation system.

I should probably go pack... or sleep...

It doesn't take that long to throw a bunch of shirts and a stick of deodorant in a duffel bag. Yeah, I'll pack in the morning...

See ya Sunday.

Obsessive Collecter Disorder...

2005-10-18T12:10:00.000-04:00

It seems my creative ADD has kicked into full gear once again. Even though I pledged completion of the Mandarin Spawn Project, I seem to have shoved it off into a nether region of my workspace to focus on a new customizing obsession. Yeah, the Hot Wheels thing.

I get like this, and I am fully aware of it. I discover a new hobby, and it piques my interest. I then begin to devote time on the Internet examining it, and viewing works of others, and then I take it into my own hands. Such is the case with this Hot Wheels thing. I think part of it has to do with working in a new medium for me, metal, as well as the scale. Although, working in metal does require a lot more safety precautions... the microscopic metal shaving that is apparently imbedded in my left pinky finger can attest to that.

This whole Hot Wheels thing has forced me to examine a new culture - the "Hot Wheels Culture." Now, I used to play with Hot Wheels all the time as a kid (and I recently made a phone call to my Mom, who said yes, my duffel bag of Hot Wheels are still in the basement.) As a collector, I have never previously been interested in the world of Hot Wheels... too many variants, too many "exclusives," and the other collectors seem to be a bit too "fanatic." Recently, I have come to realize that Hot Wheels collectors are a very different breed of collector. More so than even action figures or comic books, it seems that Hot Wheel collectors can tend to be a bit obsessive, hanging out at the doors of stores to open, rummaging through the pegs, and fighting - yes, FIGHTING, over cars. Many stores, when you talk with the checkout folks and stockers, hate Hot Wheels collectors. The collectors are known by workers with their obsessive phone calls (asking when new stock is in,) leaving the aisles a mess after rummaging through the pegs (in their defense, the cars tend to fall off the pegs easily when looking... but at least pick them up!) and some get rather irate when their cars are mishandled in the checkout lane.

Yes... it is ridiculous.

Having primarily collected action figures for the past ten years or so, I haven't seen much of this type of behavior. If anything, every other figure collector I have encountered in stores has been nothing but cool. There is always the rogue scalper (who 9 times out of 10 look astonishingly like the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons) who does nothing but soak up "rare" figures to pawn off on eBay, but the majority of them are very civil.

When I attended "Midnight Madness" at Toys R Us earlier this year (the release of the Revenge of the Sith Star Wars figures), the fifty-plus geeks (myself included) got to open cases after cases of figures that were sitting out on palettes... and I witnessed a really cool phenomena that I have seen a lot of in action figure collecting: curteousy. People were opening boxes, grabbing the "rare" ones, and then putting them up in the air to see who needed one. Collectors were talking to each other, helping each other find characters the other was looking for, guarding each others' baskets, etc. It was cool.

Now I take you to another scenario - as described to me by a Hot Wheels collector (who himself, along with his wife, are very cool people and exceptions to the Hot Wheel collector stereotype): K-Mart "K-Day." A couple times a year, K-Mart has an event where they recieve some special cases of cars, and they have some exclusive repaints only found at K-Mart. In these cases, at a ratio of about 1 every 5 cases, there are the ever-sought-after "Treasure Hunt" cars. Very rare, very collectible... you get the idea. These events, as told by eyewitness account, have many times resulted in yelling, arguing, and fighting. Yes... FIGHTING. Over 99 cent toy cars. He has witnessed grown men snatching cars out of the hands of children. I'll say that again. He has witnessed adults... who want a car so bad for their collection that they will snatch the TOY... from the hands of a CHILD (who would actually recieve enjoyment from PLAYING WITH the toy). Sickening.

Granted, not all Hot Wheels collectors are like this, and I have witnessed a lot of generosity on Hot Wheels forums between collectors (I have been reading them a lot lately)... and there are elements of the coolness I witness in the action figure world. However, I have yet to witness this in person... I usually see these older guys rummaging through the pegs, becoming angry, and sometimes outright rude with cashiers for bagging or handling them wrong (god forbid you crease the flimsy cardboard!). I see collectors hiding their grabs from others, not sharing what is in their hands... even just to LOOK at.

I want to avoid this stigma. Yes, I have bought a lot of Hot Wheels recently (Meijer's had them at buy one, get one free... so basically, 44 cents a piece) - but mine are all getting cut up and repainted (eventually). Plus, I got a lot for Alex, who gets them as rewards when he does his weekly chores.

About five times in the last two weeks, the cashiers have asked me if I was a collector. I say "No, they're for my son." This comment is usually met with a sigh of relief... and then they toss the figures in a bag, usually with a story of a collector they had an encounter with in the last few days. I have never had that happen with action figures... never once in ten years. And I've bought a lot of action figures.

You do the math.

Attack of the Camel Toads!!!

2005-10-13T23:55:00.000-04:00

Saw this posted on one of the forums I frequent - one of the funniest things I've read in ages... click the image below for the full size:

Thanks Baimun!

There is a method to my madness...

2005-10-12T17:16:00.000-04:00

I get the question every now and again - "Why do you customize?"

Well, in regards to figures and toys specifically, it is because it is my hobby... and I enjoy doing it. As for how I got started, I think the answer is simple. I am a collector, and sometimes... I just can't buy a figure of a character I like, or sometimes the one that is available out there doesn't meet my expectations.

I subscribe to the philosophy that "If you don't like it, fix it yourself."

So, I started repainting figures... you see, a lot of times, the eight-year-olds they have painting them in Taiwan don't always do a good job. Those factories can get quite warm I hear, and they don't always have air conditioning. I understand... it's not easy work, and they have small fingers.

Anyhow, since I've always been interested in painting, and I started out painting those little lead miniatures used in tabletop war games and Dungeons & Dragons. I was always more interested in the figures and the painting than the actual games themselves...

After doing that for a number of years, it seemed like an obvious evolution for me to take it to a different arena. So when I got into action figures, it only seemed natural to paint them too... and it was much easier painting something that was six inches tall as opposed to something just over an inch tall.

Then one day, a figure I wanted to repaint had a broken elbow. I set out to fix it, and in doing so, found an enjoyment in it... and began looking at my open toys in a new light. Sometimes, the lack of articulation in a figure frustrated me, as I am one to open and display them about my workarea, often times positioning them and posing them in an artistic way... or as some have been apt to tease me with... "playing with my dolls..." (those jerks!) So I began to figure out ways to add articulation on figures that didn't have points of movement where I wanted to pose it better. This involved ripping apart other figures to either use for parts, or to combine into better, more gooder figures (yeah, I said it that way on purpose... deal with it.) This led to much destruction. Destruction rules.

Since then, it has grown into an obsession... and I am constantly looking for new ways to do things, and make figures cooler... and to create new and original figures as well. Like I said, if I don't find satisfaction to what is available to suit my tastes, I make it myself. And then sometimes I just happen to make something by accident, as a result of playing around with parts I have laying around and/or have collected from junk piles and eBay over the years.

So the entire concept of customization appeals to me... and I customize computers (both the actual PC and the operating system itself... UI tools, skins, fonts, graphics, etc.), action figures, various toys, etc. I love watching shows like Monster Garage, Monster House, Biker Build-off, etc., and watching others customize their lives and "toys" too (and if I had the money and means... I guarantee I'd be welding up my own monster in my garage too...)

It leads to another core philosphy I have... get inspiration from others, and never stop learning. You can get inspiration in the strangest of places. I can't tell you how many times I've watched a show like Monster Garage, then ran downstairs into my Lab to try something I thought of while watching Jesse James weld together one of his divine creations. If he can use a technique in metal, I can try it in plastic... right?

That being said, I'd like to address another issue I've seen in various customizing communities: Elitism.

I've seen a lot of cockiness... and people claiming to be "the best" at a particular thing, or in other ways just being full of themselves and what they do (compounded and fueled usually by others' continual ego-stroking.) These are the people who also claim that others are "copying" them, and that they "did it first." To those people I say quite simply: "Bullshit."

There is no such thing as being the "best" at anything, let alone customizing. Adopting that mentality only sets yourself up for humilty, failure and the worst - stagnation. When you get to the point that you think your shit doesn't stink, you stop growing... and you stop being an "innovator." Not to mention you end up just looking and sounding like a giant assbag.

Customizing, specifically, is an art form. As art, you must keep in mind this: Not all art appeals to all people. Ten people can look at a painting, and nine may think it's a smear of crap on canvas, while the tenth may think it is a ground-breaking, world-changing statement (and those people I call "Manhattan socialites." I keed, I keed.) Seriously though... those that collect action figures may look at things I create, and can appreciate the work I put into them, and realize the complexity of what I achieved - the various parts I had to use, the number of figures I combined, the original sculpting I may have done, etc., and soak in the big picture. People who don't collect action figures, or know much about them, just think I play with toys and sometimes paint them.

I enjoy critique - good and bad. Quite often, It helps me refine my skills, and helps me look at what I do from another set of eyes... often times, after working on one thing for a long period of time, I may overlook fine details that someone else may notice right away. When it's all said and done, though - I do it for myself. I do it the way I like it, and if no one else likes it... it isn't the end of the world for me. It's my art. I do what I do, ultimately, for myself. Selfish as that may sound... it's what a hobby is, right?

It's not like I just make these things, then rush out and sell them on eBay like some other customizers do. I'm not running a production line here... I am my only customer. After spending the amount of time I do on some of these, I get quite attached to them. People often ask to buy ones I have made, and it's not something I could easily do, considering my attachment to them. Plus, there's no fair price I could possibly charge to compensate for the time I put into them, plus materials... no price that I would think is fair to both myself or the buyer. Unless it's in the thousands... Hell, I'd whore out my customs for that much... ;)

I like to inspire others. If someone else likes what I do or have done, and it leads them to do the same thing, or improve on what I have done - that is an ultimate reward of sharing what I do. That's why I take loads of work-in-progress shots, write tutorials, etc. - to show others how I did it, and hopefully pass on some of what I learned along the way (often times making it up as I go along.) I look at what others do all the time, for inspiration and instruction. I am not afraid to change how I do things if someone else found a better or cooler way. Often times I have found, in trying to duplicate what someone else has done, yet another way to do something, or learned a technique that is altogether different. That provides worlds of gratification.

In other words, I have learned to not be afraid to try something new... even if it seems impossible at first. In fact - I TRY to do new things all the time... churning out the same crap over and over, or just like everyone else's, is just plain boring. And even if something IS impossible... at least for the time being... often times something unexpected occurs that may be better, or at the very least, you learn from your mistakes.

And yes... I've stumbled upon a new customizing community recently... Hot Wheels. Some of these guys are AMAZING. Some of their work simply BLOWS ME AWAY. And it has inspired me... that is why I now have about eight Hot Wheels sitting on my desk, awaiting their torture in my lab... Igor, go get me some paint stripper - Pronto!

Maybe it was all the chalupas I ate...

2005-10-09T19:12:00.000-04:00

I found a peculiar amount of satisfaction when I heard on NPR that Spain had put on alert that I was coming... I mean, I've never been to Spain before, but apparently I'm gonna be there real soon.

I don't mean to make light of hurricanes, what with all the recent tragedies... but I did think it was a bit coincidental that this peculiar occurrence, a hurricane heading up into Spain, be named Vince.

This be my legacy and stuff...

2005-10-07T00:45:00.000-04:00

I was going through a bunch of old papers in a box, and I stumbled upon some of my sketchbooks and journals I used to scribble in back in college. There is some really bizarre crap in here, most of which I hardly remember even writing...

Here's some excerpts:

"...I was watching this thing on the Discovery Channel on ice climbing just now... in a 10-minute span, they mentioned 'crampons,' 'pussy-footing,' and used the phrase 'clutching your tool' several times. I nearly peed myself. I'm a freaking moron..."

"...from this point forward, I will refer to the conditon I am enduring only as "stomach monkeys," as it feels as if an entire legion of crap-flinging primates are having a parade in my gut..."

"...and for some reason, the reoccuring theme of this dream was a sign that appeared in various locations (a wall, a roadside, my bumper sticker) that simply read 'We Make Panty Girls Famous!' I do not know what this means, and I don't want to investigate it too deeply, but the thought of "panty girls" makes me happy..."

"...Don's Windmill is an excellent hangout, specifically at 4am after a hard night of drinking. I highly recommend a breakfast medley, topped off with their slightly burnt (and very gray) sausage links... if nothing else, they provide an excellent way to grease the vomit trail..."

"...this past weekend's activities included a competition on who could hold a bong toke for an entire Ramones song, followed by an incredibly in-depth discussion about who's hair felt the heaviest. Dave won... that sonofabitch has a lot of damn hair..."

"...horrible ice cream flavors: Mocha Almond Gravy, Chicken Noodle Fudge, Chili, Salmon Chocolate Chip, Ketchup Sherbert, Peppercorn Praline, Honey Maple Pickle, Creamed Corn Cookie Dough, Salt and Vinegar Malt Ball, Egg and Cheese, Honey Mustard, and Caramel Potato..."

"...things I fear: invisible fire, losing my genitals (especially to wild dogs), unannounced unprovoked anal bleeding, angry little bald men with no lips, being dragged from a moving vehicle and having my finger or toenails slowly scraped off..."

"...he who does the most in one day doesn't do much sleeping, and there's really not that much fun in that, is there? Sleeping is the best!"

"(to be sung in place of the lyrics from the Pina Colada song): Yes I like Cheese Enchiladas... And I like Tostidos too. I like to drink some Dr. Pepper... and sometimes Mounatain Dew..."

Then I found one of the little poems I used to write:

"Fell in the Glass Globe,
Thought I would drown...
I make it snow,
When I jump up and down."

There's tons more... perhaps I'll post more in the future. Looking back through these, it seems I was high a lot...

Ah... college...

Betty when you call me, you can Kal me El...

2005-10-05T01:00:00.000-04:00

Another celebrity has done it again... obviously without regard to the poor child who has to LIVE with the name...

Nicolas Cage and his 21-year-old wife have named their newborn son Kal-El Coppola Cage. Yes. Kal-El. For those of you who don't know, that is Superman's birth name. Seriously. If you're a fan, couldn't you just use Clark Kent or something? But then again, if you're going to do it, do it full throttle... name the kid Superman. Or Hulk. Hulk is much better.

We know you're famous. We know there are millions of people who care WAY too much about your lives. But for the love of god, think of the poor children. Granted, they will not be going to public schools where they would be relentlessly taunted and teased... but even boarding schools have bullies. Hell, even a private tutor is bound to have a chuckle or two at the child's expense.

It's not eccentric... it's stupidity.

I know it's nothing new... Frank Zappa did it a long time ago... but that was a different time, and I'm sure hallucinogenics were involved. Today, it's "trendy."

Penn Gilette, of Penn & Teller fame, proved to America that he has little common sense and obviously hates his newborn daughter, when he and his wife named her Moxie Crimefighter Gilette.

Then there's Jason Lee, star of My Name is Earl, who has a son named Pilot Inspektor.

Or Bono, who named his son Elijah Bob Patricus Guggi Q. As if there weren't enough reasons to already hate him.

Then there's Makena'lei (Helen Hunt), Phinneaus Walter (Julia Roberts), Coco (Courtney Cox-Arquette)... but let's not leave out director Robert Rodriguez... who has assembled his own superhero team - Rebel, Rocket, Racer and Rogue. Their power? The superhuman ability to withstand a lifetime of wedgies, I hope.

...oh, please don't let me forget Jermaine Jackson, who named his son Jermajesty. How bad did Joe Jackson beat those kids, anyhow? Is there ONE normal member of that family?

I guess when you look at the bigger picture, "Apple" doesn't even seem that bad of a name anymore... and that in itself is just plain sad.

...but it does set the foundation for the name I have picked out for when my wife and I have our first child together... Zartan Maximillian Robocop Terminator. Now if only I could come up with a boy's name...

All for the addiction of the bean...

2005-10-04T00:19:00.000-04:00

Gah! Just went to set the coffee maker for the AM, and discovered we were out of coffee. That's a major issue... so I had to do a midnight Meijer run.

Now... it's late, the wife is in bed already, and I don't want to make this a major event... so I had to do this quick. Normally, I make the drive to one of the other 15 Meijer stores I can reach in a reasonable distance from here... but I had a crisis, and there's a Meijer just down the street, less than five minutes away... the dreaded "Ghetto Meijer."

Let me just say this - I'm not scared to go there by any means... I just choose not to normally, as it is the most bass-ackwards Meijer I have ever been to. Want frozen items? No problem, they're right along the wall in the friggin' shoe section. Seriously... it's that messed up.

And - lucky me - it was stock night! I kid you not, it looked like a bomb had gone off inside and the looters had just left... I had to literally climb over two palette jacks and jump-hurdle a stack of boxes to get to the coffee... and of course, they didn't have my beloved Breakfast Blend, so I had to settle for a secondhand replacement.

But naturally, I did check the toy section, and found some cool old Hot Wheels... so I got that going for me, which is nice.

Well, damn it all to hell...

2005-10-03T23:05:00.000-04:00

Shut it. Just shut it...

Yeah, so State lost in overtime... but at least they put up a good fight. It just goes to prove that when this game occurs, all records and stats go out the window...

...and no, I didn't watch any of it... so it's not my fault. Turns out I should have just watched it anyhow, maybe they would have won.

Ann Arbor still sucks. So does U of M. And their mothers dress them funny.

On the banks of the Red Cedar...

2005-09-29T22:54:00.000-04:00

So the big football game is in two days... My alma mater, MSU vs. UofM. Amazingly, this is the first year in a very long time that MSU is actually the favorite... even on Vegas odds. I normally don't watch sports... ever... except for this game. This is the only event worth watching to me. However, it seems that every time in the last few years that I have been around and able to watch it, as soon as I start watching it, MSU starts playing worse and/or loses.

So my wife has banned me from being able to watch it this year. It sucks, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make... I will spare them my apparent bad omens, and not vex them with my attention. I will instead sit around in my pajamas all day, playing PS2 and working on customs, while my wife and my stepson go to Red Flannel Days in Cedar Springs with her friend.

For those of you unfamiliar with Red Flannel Days... it's an event, in a more "rural" area of West Michigan (but by no means the most rural) where everyone gets together and, along with other fair-like events, wears red clothing (apparently flannel is not required). If you are not wearing red, "police" in the event can "arrest" you and put you in "jail." I know you're probably asking yourself, "Wow! How can you NOT attend something that fun?"

While I will admit, going WOULD be fun - it would be for reasons other than the festival... I would enjoy a fantastic day of making fun of the locals and keeping a mental count of the number of mullets, missing teeth and pregnant teenagers (some of whom may also have mullets and missing teeth... bonus points!!!)

So they will go and have their day, and I will have mine. At night, I will tune into the local news station to revel in the fantastic Spartan victory.

Q: What do you call two good looking women walking through the U of M Campus?
A: Spartans.

Q: Whats the difference between Ann Arbor and a Porcupine?
A: Theres 100,000 pricks on the inside of Ann Arbor.

Q: What do Michigan football and marijuana have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: How do you keep a Michigan basketball player from playing with himself?
A: Paint his unit Green and White, that way there's only a 1 out of 13 chance that he'll beat it.

These things take time...

2005-09-27T00:40:00.000-04:00

Took a selfish night tonight. I decided to not to any work at home tonight, and just spend some time on my hobbies. In other words, I did some painting on the Mandarin Spawn custom... so stop asking! I'm taking my sweet time on him (that is, when I get the time), as I've mentioned. I've been working on it this long, I'm certainly not going to give him a botch paint job.

For those keeping count, I started this project last November. With all good intention, he should be done in time for the one year anniversary of me starting it... but don't quote me on that. It's no secret that when it comes to customizing, I suffer from an advanced form of ADD, and I often stray off and start three more new projects before finishing one of the eight or nine I already have going. Hell, I have one custom sitting on my desk that has been in paint for a month now, and if I just put a few nights more into it, it would be done. And, I have another one totally built, just awaiting a paint job.

But because I am growing very weary of everyone asking me "How's Mandy coming?" and "When is Mandarin Spawn gonna be finished?," I am focusing (very difficult) my energy to getting him done.

Then maybe I can post a new figure without discussion just digressing to talk of my progress on Mandy... ;)

I will say this, the build up (partly my fault), has raised the expectation of this custom so high, that I have a lot more pressure in pulling it off and pleasing "the fans."

...Writing that just now reminds me of one of my core ideologies from when I started doing the custom thing: I don't really care if anyone likes them or not... I do it for me, because I enjoy doing it. Oh crap... what a paradox! (haha... get it?) So really, I don't care if you like it or not. I'm taking my damn time, and I'm gonna make the Mandarin Spawn I set out to make. If the folks like it, cool.

It's not like I'm spending all this time and effort into it just to sell it on eBay, like a lot of other customizers seem to be doing these days. I put way too much time and effort (not to mention money in fodder, supplies, materials, etc.) to sell these for a price that would be fair to me or the buyer. Unless you want to buy the Mandarin Spawn when it's done? Let's see... 1 year, with an average of about 15 hours a month... 180 hours at a measly $10 an hour... plus paint and apoxie... $2000 sound good?

Yeah... it'll be staying on my shelf when it's all done.

If there were more of me, I'd get these things done quicker. Kinda like that movie Multiplicity with Michael Keaton... except my luck, they'd all end up like the "special" one, and sit around all day putting pizza in wallets, calling everyone "Steve."

"Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution."
~ Edward Teller (1908 - 2003)

P.S. I love my "fans," and I always appreciate your support and criticism. You make customizing more a lot more fun... you bastards. ;)

Look boss, Zee Plane!!

2005-09-25T21:16:00.000-04:00

I think it would be hilarious to get a tattoo of Tattoo.

Ok, so I suppose it's not practical.

My wife suggested I get an Old English D, like the Detroit Tigers logo tattoo a few weeks ago, because I had been expressing my want of another tattoo for a few years now... but couldn't decide of what or where. I thought it was a cool idea, since I am originally from the Detroit area (especially if you go by the West Michigan mentality that anything east of Ann Arbor is "Detroit"), and my last name starts with a D.

I do, however, hate the Tigers. Nothing personal, even though they suck... I just hate baseball.

But I still liked the idea, so I found a crappy version of the D on the Internet, and threw it in Illustrator and traced it out, then touched up the edges and tails, until I got it to how I wanted it.

Next thing I know, I have this on my left shoulder:

It's not exactly as I had given it to the guy... he's got a little touching up he'll have to do... some of the points aren't as sharp as they're supposed to be, and I the little tails on the side of the D are supposed to match... But I like it.

Now I've got the bug... oh, what to get next?

Not sure, but I doubt it will bear likeness to Herve Villachaize...

A nose full of goodness...

2005-09-22T17:30:00.000-04:00

I'm going to say this as simply as I can: Whoever invented Afrin totally rocks. If I find out who it is, and I see them in a bar, I will buy them a drink... for them to ingest, or perhaps to inhale into their nasal passage for instant relief (if they so desire.) It is magical, and fantastic. All morning long I could not breathe, as the "floatiness," previously in my eyes, has apparently traveled down a little to clog my sinuses... so at lunch, I picked up some Afrin (a product I have historical confidence in). After snorting a few sprays in the parking lot of the pharmacy, I realized how much I took this stuff for granted, as I inevitably do after not having used it for awhile. Instant relief. I don't really know how this stuff works, and to be quite honest, I don't really care... in fact, I'd probably rather not know. If I had to guess though, it either takes the violating agent and scares it back into a pocket of my skull where it no longer effects my breathing... or the other alternative scenario I like to imagine: using magic, it dissolves the snotty mucous into thin air. Regardless, the shit works... and that's all I care about.

I also went to Best Buy, to play with the iPod Nano. Man, that thing is just way too cool to not have... but I'm fairly certain my wife would shoot me if I came home with one. I do like the increased capacity of the standard iPod (more is better and gooder, right?), plus it boasts way more accessories, including the wireless thingy so you can play your tunes over your car stereo. But the Nano comes in black, and that looks way cooler than white... I think the regular iPod comes in black, but you have to get the "U2" version... and U2 sucks ass. Either way, I'm not getting one just yet... maybe Santa will bring me one...

Ultimate Spider-Man comes out for PS2 tomorrow... and I think I'm going to have to get it. Judging from what I've seen in the previews and reviews of it, it looks to be quite cool... and the art and style of it alone are unique enough for me to enjoy it, even if it is ridiculously simple and requires the brainpower of a peanut to complete it. But from what I can assess, that will not be the case. However, the lack of thinking part does have its own intrique to it...

The Apprentice starts tonight! I read on starwars.com that this season of The Apprentice will have the candidates pit against each other in marketing challenges selling Battlefront II and the Revenge of the Sith DVDs for their respective releases... and that alone has me geeked. I would just like The Donald to end at least one show with the phrase "You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. You're Fired."

Episode two of Survivor is tonight as well... it's nice to see Stephanie and Bobby Jon back from last season, but I kinda feel (so far at least) that their presence is distracting from getting to know the new cast.

I'd like to be on Survivor one of these days. Although I fear it would make me too famous - as "The first person to ever die on Survivor."

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Jet's Combo #3 to go pick up...

oooo... floaty...

2005-09-22T00:56:00.000-04:00

I hate being sick. Whoever invented sick sucks.

Apparently, the viruses made their way into our home, having stowed away in Alex's backpack... and with any virus that seems to be floating around, it turned into what seems to be a sinus infection for me.

What this means is now my eyeballs feel to be floating in a pocket of liquid, leaving me in an "out-of-body," dreamlike state. Which is kinda fun and surreal, all while totally sucking at the same time.

I made the mistake of taking a sinus medicine at lunchtime. There's two major brands, and one works for me, and the other goofs me up. I couldn't recall which one did what, so of course, I ended up getting the one that goofs me up (not my intention, honest). Since I was quickly losing my concentration and ability to construct cohesive sentences, I figured it best that I leave work early and go sleep (especially since my job does require a level of accuracy).

I slept for four and a half hours... that is, in spurts of actual sleeping and my cat Jake meowing and shoving his ass in my face (I still can't figure out why he feels I really need to get a close look at his butthole all the time). I think he was confused, yet happy, that I was home when I normally wouldn't be... so as if to celebrate the occasion - happy cat ass! Fun for him, discerning for me. And quite gross, I may add...

Now the medicine's worn off, but I'm still out of it. And I fear I won't be able to actually sleep tonight.

But I'll be damned if I'm not going to go try.

Guess who learned a new trick?

2005-09-20T22:19:00.000-04:00

When I got home from work today, I was greeted with a horrific noise... rushing water.

Now, I was the first one home, and no one has been home all day... and I left last. I froze, with a plethora of horrible scenarios running through my head as to where the sound could be coming from... visions of flooding basements, destroyed ceilings and floors, thousands of dollars in bills...

My first hope was that it was just the dishwasher running. Again, no one at home all day, no timer on the thing, and it only runs for like an hour, so not that...

I finally dropped everything I was holding, and began to run around the ground floor, looking for the source... and it turned out to be the bathtub. Yeah, the bathtub water was running, at full pour. It was the hot dial, which was now running cold, so it had been going for a while (at least 20 gallons of wasted water).

Well, we knew our resident shithead, Jesse James, likes to play in the tub for some reason. My only guess is that he must have hit the knob on his entry or exit leap into the tub...

...and it must have scared the crap out of him, since he has been avoiding the bathroom all night. Guess we need to keep that door closed during the days now...

Saw the premeire of My Name is Earl tonight. Not too bad of a show... I'll be keeping that in my new fall schedule, along with The Office, which is on right afterwards. If you haven't seen The Office, I can't recommend it enough. It's the U.S. version of the UK show of the same name... but it has Steve Carell, and it's one of the funniest shows on television today.

...And The Apprentice starts Thursday! The Donald, not the Martha (I would rather eat my own toes, fresh off my foot, than watch anything with Martha Stewart in it.)

At least my Thursdays will be complete again... Survivor at 8, Apprentice at 9 - with a Jet's pizza at hand... just the way God intended it...

Superdickery and Batman's Boner

2005-09-20T01:41:00.000-04:00

When all is said and done, back in the day, Superman was a real dick.

That being said, we can turn our attention to Batman's boner.

If you're afraid to click the links, you're far too sensitive. It's not nearly as bad as you may be thinking... in fact, they're links to perhaps one of the funniest collection of ACTUAL comic frames and covers from back in the day. I've spent hours on this site... be sure to check the galleries for other great sections, including all sorts of political incorrectness. And monkeys. Gotta love monkeys...

Being itchy, paint, and epidemiology...

2005-09-19T22:16:00.000-04:00

Alex's open house was tonight, so my wife and I got to walk around his classroom and formally meet his first grade teacher. The whole time I was in the school, I could not stop itching... my arms, hair, back, and legs... I was scratching and fidgeting like crazy. I don't know if I was allergic to the idea of school, or if it had anything to do with the droves of sweaty, dirty little kids... either way, I was glad to be out of there. Now I know why we get sick more when school is in session... all the kids can incubate their germs in class, then take them home to spread to their parents.

Got about an hour and a half more painting in on the Mandarin Spawn. I have now clocked almost 3 hours of painting into it, and I have finished: the torso. No arms, no head, nothing else... just his torso. This one's gonna take a while. I guess it doesn't help that I was at Hobby Lobby at lunch today, and picked up a few new colors. I like these ones MUCH better than some that I had... now we're gonna be kicking it with some Testors Acryl - got some Grape Pearl, Purple Pearl, and True Blue Pearl. It's looking purdy... but no pics until it's done now.

Now that it is evening, it's time to get to work... working on some Flash training courses on bioterrorism for a college. This week, I'm doing Epidemiology, which contrary to my previous conception - is not the study of skin. It's actually the study of the distribution and determinants of disease. Very inthralling stuff. No, seriously. I mean it. Just fascinating...

Doing these lessons have taught me WAY more than I ever cared to know about anthrax, botulism, viral hemorrhagic fevers, the plague and a plethora of other awful diseases with equally awful inflictions. I get to look at all sorts of photos from the Centers for Disease Control photo archive. I highly recommend surfing the galleries over a nice snack or fine meal.

Between my day job and my night work, I'm averaging about 52-55 hours a week of work, about 5-6 hours of sleep a night, and I am still managing to spend time with my family AND work on customs. Not as much of the latter two as I'd like, but I try.

Speaking of which, I should probably stop typing this now and get to work.

Mandarin Spawn now in paint mode...

2005-09-19T01:52:00.000-04:00

Well, nearly a year after I have begun, the Super-articulated Mandarin Spawn is finally in paint mode. I got about 65% of the torso done this evening... leaving only the head, both arms, the legs, and everything else to go.

I've spent this long building it... (well, off and on for the last 10 months) - I'm going to take my sweet time painting it. Hopefully it'll all be worth it when it's done...

The scheme will match the shield, which I painted last winter... a series of blues, purples, metallics blue and purple, and black, along with silver accents. It'll be different from any other Mandarin custom I've seen to date, that's for sure...

...plus, it'll move and stuff.

PS - paint rub is proving to be a royal bitch on this one... I didn't take the new shoulders into account when I built it... it's a really tight fit. When the base coat dries on the shoulders (I'm painting it in pieces), I'll do the old superglue trick... hopefully I can pull that off without messing anything up.

Stay tuned...

Innocent grandmothers...

2005-09-16T23:44:00.000-04:00

I was at Target this afternoon on my lunch break. As I was thumbing through the pegs of Star Wars figures, hoping to find some new Clone repaints (nothing, by the way) - I overhear this from an elderly woman shopping with her grandson in the same aisle:

"Do you have a Buzz Lightyear?" asks the grandma.
"Yes," he replies.
"Do you have a Woody?"
"Yes."

I had to leave the aisle as quickly as I could to compose myself, and avoid busting out in mainiacal laughter...

...I'm sorry, that's just damn funny.

Random thought #1

2005-09-16T14:05:00.000-04:00

It's a sad day when gasoline hits $2.69 a gallon, and you get excited that it's cheaper...

And so it begins...

2005-09-15T23:08:00.000-04:00

Ok... I finally decided to give this blog thing a go.

I guess I didn't have enough of people not listening to what I had to say, and so I figured I'd do this so even more people can not read what I have to type...

So what sorts of things am I going to "blog" about?

Action figures, toys and customizing of action figures for starters... but probably other rents (that's a rant/vent for those of you that are unfamiliar with my "pairadisms") and the like. Like most blogs... whatever the hell I feel like typing.

It's not like that many people are going to read this crap anyway...