10.25.2005

Keep on truckin'... you assbag.

"Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything." ~Charles Kuralt, On the Road With Charles Kuralt

...well, we survived the road trip. After a grueling 13 hour drive (that's only two WalMart visits and a couple rest area pit-stops), we made it to New Jersey at about 3AM on Friday.


I would just like to say this to all the semi drivers along I-80 in Ohio, Pennsylvania and New Jersey: I hope you all get syphilis.

It's bad enough that it began raining the moment we hit Ohio, and then started getting dark about an hour later (yeah, that accounted for about nine hours of our trip being dark and rainy)... but the semi drivers made the trek to New Jersey the beauty that it was. Our trip consisted of semi passing semi, passing semi, passing semi... sprinkled with cutting off cars, tailgaiting cars, with a bit of passing other semis thrown in to round things out.

This picture about sums up our trip in (and about half our trip back):



We also noticed, in the dark, rainy mountains of Pennsylvania, that there is an apparent infestation of what we could only discern as giant bunnies of some form. About five or six times we encountered remnants of these creatures splattered across the interstate... just tiny bits and pieces of blood and guts... and large chunks of white fluffy material. It was the strangest thing we'd ever seen, and since we both saw it quite clearly, it cannot be dismissed as hallucination. If the remnants were not that of giant bunnies (hit and destroyed by syphilis-infested semi drivers), then there can be only one other explanation: Deer in Pennsylvania are filled with cotton. And guts.

Luckily we hit no deer, and arrived in New Jersey safely. We enjoyed our brief stay, saw some cool stuff, and then headed back Sunday morning. Basically, two-thirds of our trip was spent in the rental car, travelling. Oh - and we didn't get the little 4-banger after all, but a G6 (the same type of car I normally drive)... however the absolute worst possible one, with no features or options aside of standard ones... and it was a really de-masculating light blue metallic color.

The ride home was a little better, as we passed through the mountains in daylight, and got to see the wonderful scenery we missed while avoiding late-night semis and giant bunnies.





Plus I bought this really cheesy lighter at some truck stop that lights up and shows a flaming jester when you open it, and the flame is green. My other purchases included a bunch of hard-to-find Hot Wheels (at the WalMarts on the way in), a bag of Salt and Vinegar potato chips, and a bunch of really crappy fast food.

All in all, it was a pretty decent trip. And no one got syphilis... that I know of.

2 Comments:

Blogger kathleen had this to say...

Nice pics. But syphillis? You're harsh ... :-)

10/26/2005 12:16:00 PM  
Blogger Karen had this to say...

That's good that no one got syphillis. {especially for your wife's sake}

10/27/2005 09:30:00 PM  

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