This be my legacy and stuff...

I was going through a bunch of old papers in a box, and I stumbled upon some of my sketchbooks and journals I used to scribble in back in college. There is some really bizarre crap in here, most of which I hardly remember even writing...

Here's some excerpts:

"...I was watching this thing on the Discovery Channel on ice climbing just now... in a 10-minute span, they mentioned 'crampons,' 'pussy-footing,' and used the phrase 'clutching your tool' several times. I nearly peed myself. I'm a freaking moron..."

"...from this point forward, I will refer to the conditon I am enduring only as "stomach monkeys," as it feels as if an entire legion of crap-flinging primates are having a parade in my gut..."

"...and for some reason, the reoccuring theme of this dream was a sign that appeared in various locations (a wall, a roadside, my bumper sticker) that simply read 'We Make Panty Girls Famous!' I do not know what this means, and I don't want to investigate it too deeply, but the thought of "panty girls" makes me happy..."

"...Don's Windmill is an excellent hangout, specifically at 4am after a hard night of drinking. I highly recommend a breakfast medley, topped off with their slightly burnt (and very gray) sausage links... if nothing else, they provide an excellent way to grease the vomit trail..."

"...this past weekend's activities included a competition on who could hold a bong toke for an entire Ramones song, followed by an incredibly in-depth discussion about who's hair felt the heaviest. Dave won... that sonofabitch has a lot of damn hair..."

"...horrible ice cream flavors: Mocha Almond Gravy, Chicken Noodle Fudge, Chili, Salmon Chocolate Chip, Ketchup Sherbert, Peppercorn Praline, Honey Maple Pickle, Creamed Corn Cookie Dough, Salt and Vinegar Malt Ball, Egg and Cheese, Honey Mustard, and Caramel Potato..."

"...things I fear: invisible fire, losing my genitals (especially to wild dogs), unannounced unprovoked anal bleeding, angry little bald men with no lips, being dragged from a moving vehicle and having my finger or toenails slowly scraped off..."

"...he who does the most in one day doesn't do much sleeping, and there's really not that much fun in that, is there? Sleeping is the best!"

"(to be sung in place of the lyrics from the Pina Colada song): Yes I like Cheese Enchiladas... And I like Tostidos too. I like to drink some Dr. Pepper... and sometimes Mounatain Dew..."

Then I found one of the little poems I used to write:

"Fell in the Glass Globe,
Thought I would drown...
I make it snow,
When I jump up and down."


There's tons more... perhaps I'll post more in the future. Looking back through these, it seems I was high a lot...

Ah... college...