On the banks of the Red Cedar...

So the big football game is in two days... My alma mater, MSU vs. UofM. Amazingly, this is the first year in a very long time that MSU is actually the favorite... even on Vegas odds. I normally don't watch sports... ever... except for this game. This is the only event worth watching to me. However, it seems that every time in the last few years that I have been around and able to watch it, as soon as I start watching it, MSU starts playing worse and/or loses.

So my wife has banned me from being able to watch it this year. It sucks, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make... I will spare them my apparent bad omens, and not vex them with my attention. I will instead sit around in my pajamas all day, playing PS2 and working on customs, while my wife and my stepson go to Red Flannel Days in Cedar Springs with her friend.

For those of you unfamiliar with Red Flannel Days... it's an event, in a more "rural" area of West Michigan (but by no means the most rural) where everyone gets together and, along with other fair-like events, wears red clothing (apparently flannel is not required). If you are not wearing red, "police" in the event can "arrest" you and put you in "jail." I know you're probably asking yourself, "Wow! How can you NOT attend something that fun?"

While I will admit, going WOULD be fun - it would be for reasons other than the festival... I would enjoy a fantastic day of making fun of the locals and keeping a mental count of the number of mullets, missing teeth and pregnant teenagers (some of whom may also have mullets and missing teeth... bonus points!!!)

So they will go and have their day, and I will have mine. At night, I will tune into the local news station to revel in the fantastic Spartan victory.

---

Q: What do you call two good looking women walking through the U of M Campus?
A: Spartans.

Q: Whats the difference between Ann Arbor and a Porcupine?
A: Theres 100,000 pricks on the inside of Ann Arbor.

Q: What do Michigan football and marijuana have in common?
A: They both get smoked in bowls!

Q: How do you keep a Michigan basketball player from playing with himself?
A: Paint his unit Green and White, that way there's only a 1 out of 13 chance that he'll beat it.

These things take time...

Took a selfish night tonight. I decided to not to any work at home tonight, and just spend some time on my hobbies. In other words, I did some painting on the Mandarin Spawn custom... so stop asking! I'm taking my sweet time on him (that is, when I get the time), as I've mentioned. I've been working on it this long, I'm certainly not going to give him a botch paint job.

For those keeping count, I started this project last November. With all good intention, he should be done in time for the one year anniversary of me starting it... but don't quote me on that. It's no secret that when it comes to customizing, I suffer from an advanced form of ADD, and I often stray off and start three more new projects before finishing one of the eight or nine I already have going. Hell, I have one custom sitting on my desk that has been in paint for a month now, and if I just put a few nights more into it, it would be done. And, I have another one totally built, just awaiting a paint job.

But because I am growing very weary of everyone asking me "How's Mandy coming?" and "When is Mandarin Spawn gonna be finished?," I am focusing (very difficult) my energy to getting him done.

Then maybe I can post a new figure without discussion just digressing to talk of my progress on Mandy... ;)

I will say this, the build up (partly my fault), has raised the expectation of this custom so high, that I have a lot more pressure in pulling it off and pleasing "the fans."

...Writing that just now reminds me of one of my core ideologies from when I started doing the custom thing: I don't really care if anyone likes them or not... I do it for me, because I enjoy doing it. Oh crap... what a paradox! (haha... get it?) So really, I don't care if you like it or not. I'm taking my damn time, and I'm gonna make the Mandarin Spawn I set out to make. If the folks like it, cool.

It's not like I'm spending all this time and effort into it just to sell it on eBay, like a lot of other customizers seem to be doing these days. I put way too much time and effort (not to mention money in fodder, supplies, materials, etc.) to sell these for a price that would be fair to me or the buyer. Unless you want to buy the Mandarin Spawn when it's done? Let's see... 1 year, with an average of about 15 hours a month... 180 hours at a measly $10 an hour... plus paint and apoxie... $2000 sound good?

Yeah... it'll be staying on my shelf when it's all done.

If there were more of me, I'd get these things done quicker. Kinda like that movie Multiplicity with Michael Keaton... except my luck, they'd all end up like the "special" one, and sit around all day putting pizza in wallets, calling everyone "Steve."

"Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution."
~ Edward Teller (1908 - 2003)

P.S. I love my "fans," and I always appreciate your support and criticism. You make customizing more a lot more fun... you bastards. ;)

Look boss, Zee Plane!!

I think it would be hilarious to get a tattoo of Tattoo.

Ok, so I suppose it's not practical.

My wife suggested I get an Old English D, like the Detroit Tigers logo tattoo a few weeks ago, because I had been expressing my want of another tattoo for a few years now... but couldn't decide of what or where. I thought it was a cool idea, since I am originally from the Detroit area (especially if you go by the West Michigan mentality that anything east of Ann Arbor is "Detroit"), and my last name starts with a D.

I do, however, hate the Tigers. Nothing personal, even though they suck... I just hate baseball.

But I still liked the idea, so I found a crappy version of the D on the Internet, and threw it in Illustrator and traced it out, then touched up the edges and tails, until I got it to how I wanted it.

Next thing I know, I have this on my left shoulder:

It's not exactly as I had given it to the guy... he's got a little touching up he'll have to do... some of the points aren't as sharp as they're supposed to be, and I the little tails on the side of the D are supposed to match... But I like it.

Now I've got the bug... oh, what to get next?

Not sure, but I doubt it will bear likeness to Herve Villachaize...

A nose full of goodness...

I'm going to say this as simply as I can: Whoever invented Afrin totally rocks. If I find out who it is, and I see them in a bar, I will buy them a drink... for them to ingest, or perhaps to inhale into their nasal passage for instant relief (if they so desire.) It is magical, and fantastic. All morning long I could not breathe, as the "floatiness," previously in my eyes, has apparently traveled down a little to clog my sinuses... so at lunch, I picked up some Afrin (a product I have historical confidence in). After snorting a few sprays in the parking lot of the pharmacy, I realized how much I took this stuff for granted, as I inevitably do after not having used it for awhile. Instant relief. I don't really know how this stuff works, and to be quite honest, I don't really care... in fact, I'd probably rather not know. If I had to guess though, it either takes the violating agent and scares it back into a pocket of my skull where it no longer effects my breathing... or the other alternative scenario I like to imagine: using magic, it dissolves the snotty mucous into thin air. Regardless, the shit works... and that's all I care about.

I also went to Best Buy, to play with the iPod Nano. Man, that thing is just way too cool to not have... but I'm fairly certain my wife would shoot me if I came home with one. I do like the increased capacity of the standard iPod (more is better and gooder, right?), plus it boasts way more accessories, including the wireless thingy so you can play your tunes over your car stereo. But the Nano comes in black, and that looks way cooler than white... I think the regular iPod comes in black, but you have to get the "U2" version... and U2 sucks ass. Either way, I'm not getting one just yet... maybe Santa will bring me one...

Ultimate Spider-Man comes out for PS2 tomorrow... and I think I'm going to have to get it. Judging from what I've seen in the previews and reviews of it, it looks to be quite cool... and the art and style of it alone are unique enough for me to enjoy it, even if it is ridiculously simple and requires the brainpower of a peanut to complete it. But from what I can assess, that will not be the case. However, the lack of thinking part does have its own intrique to it...

The Apprentice starts tonight! I read on starwars.com that this season of The Apprentice will have the candidates pit against each other in marketing challenges selling Battlefront II and the Revenge of the Sith DVDs for their respective releases... and that alone has me geeked. I would just like The Donald to end at least one show with the phrase "You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. You're Fired."

Episode two of Survivor is tonight as well... it's nice to see Stephanie and Bobby Jon back from last season, but I kinda feel (so far at least) that their presence is distracting from getting to know the new cast.

I'd like to be on Survivor one of these days. Although I fear it would make me too famous - as "The first person to ever die on Survivor."

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Jet's Combo #3 to go pick up...

oooo... floaty...

I hate being sick. Whoever invented sick sucks.

Apparently, the viruses made their way into our home, having stowed away in Alex's backpack... and with any virus that seems to be floating around, it turned into what seems to be a sinus infection for me.

What this means is now my eyeballs feel to be floating in a pocket of liquid, leaving me in an "out-of-body," dreamlike state. Which is kinda fun and surreal, all while totally sucking at the same time.

I made the mistake of taking a sinus medicine at lunchtime. There's two major brands, and one works for me, and the other goofs me up. I couldn't recall which one did what, so of course, I ended up getting the one that goofs me up (not my intention, honest). Since I was quickly losing my concentration and ability to construct cohesive sentences, I figured it best that I leave work early and go sleep (especially since my job does require a level of accuracy).

I slept for four and a half hours... that is, in spurts of actual sleeping and my cat Jake meowing and shoving his ass in my face (I still can't figure out why he feels I really need to get a close look at his butthole all the time). I think he was confused, yet happy, that I was home when I normally wouldn't be... so as if to celebrate the occasion - happy cat ass! Fun for him, discerning for me. And quite gross, I may add...

Now the medicine's worn off, but I'm still out of it. And I fear I won't be able to actually sleep tonight.

But I'll be damned if I'm not going to go try.

Guess who learned a new trick?

When I got home from work today, I was greeted with a horrific noise... rushing water.

Now, I was the first one home, and no one has been home all day... and I left last. I froze, with a plethora of horrible scenarios running through my head as to where the sound could be coming from... visions of flooding basements, destroyed ceilings and floors, thousands of dollars in bills...

My first hope was that it was just the dishwasher running. Again, no one at home all day, no timer on the thing, and it only runs for like an hour, so not that...

I finally dropped everything I was holding, and began to run around the ground floor, looking for the source... and it turned out to be the bathtub. Yeah, the bathtub water was running, at full pour. It was the hot dial, which was now running cold, so it had been going for a while (at least 20 gallons of wasted water).

Well, we knew our resident shithead, Jesse James, likes to play in the tub for some reason. My only guess is that he must have hit the knob on his entry or exit leap into the tub...

...and it must have scared the crap out of him, since he has been avoiding the bathroom all night. Guess we need to keep that door closed during the days now...


Saw the premeire of My Name is Earl tonight. Not too bad of a show... I'll be keeping that in my new fall schedule, along with The Office, which is on right afterwards. If you haven't seen The Office, I can't recommend it enough. It's the U.S. version of the UK show of the same name... but it has Steve Carell, and it's one of the funniest shows on television today.

...And The Apprentice starts Thursday! The Donald, not the Martha (I would rather eat my own toes, fresh off my foot, than watch anything with Martha Stewart in it.)

At least my Thursdays will be complete again... Survivor at 8, Apprentice at 9 - with a Jet's pizza at hand... just the way God intended it...

Superdickery and Batman's Boner

When all is said and done, back in the day, Superman was a real dick.

That being said, we can turn our attention to Batman's boner.

If you're afraid to click the links, you're far too sensitive. It's not nearly as bad as you may be thinking... in fact, they're links to perhaps one of the funniest collection of ACTUAL comic frames and covers from back in the day. I've spent hours on this site... be sure to check the galleries for other great sections, including all sorts of political incorrectness. And monkeys. Gotta love monkeys...

Being itchy, paint, and epidemiology...

Alex's open house was tonight, so my wife and I got to walk around his classroom and formally meet his first grade teacher. The whole time I was in the school, I could not stop itching... my arms, hair, back, and legs... I was scratching and fidgeting like crazy. I don't know if I was allergic to the idea of school, or if it had anything to do with the droves of sweaty, dirty little kids... either way, I was glad to be out of there. Now I know why we get sick more when school is in session... all the kids can incubate their germs in class, then take them home to spread to their parents.

Got about an hour and a half more painting in on the Mandarin Spawn. I have now clocked almost 3 hours of painting into it, and I have finished: the torso. No arms, no head, nothing else... just his torso. This one's gonna take a while. I guess it doesn't help that I was at Hobby Lobby at lunch today, and picked up a few new colors. I like these ones MUCH better than some that I had... now we're gonna be kicking it with some Testors Acryl - got some Grape Pearl, Purple Pearl, and True Blue Pearl. It's looking purdy... but no pics until it's done now.

Now that it is evening, it's time to get to work... working on some Flash training courses on bioterrorism for a college. This week, I'm doing Epidemiology, which contrary to my previous conception - is not the study of skin. It's actually the study of the distribution and determinants of disease. Very inthralling stuff. No, seriously. I mean it. Just fascinating...

Doing these lessons have taught me WAY more than I ever cared to know about anthrax, botulism, viral hemorrhagic fevers, the plague and a plethora of other awful diseases with equally awful inflictions. I get to look at all sorts of photos from the Centers for Disease Control photo archive. I highly recommend surfing the galleries over a nice snack or fine meal.

Between my day job and my night work, I'm averaging about 52-55 hours a week of work, about 5-6 hours of sleep a night, and I am still managing to spend time with my family AND work on customs. Not as much of the latter two as I'd like, but I try.

Speaking of which, I should probably stop typing this now and get to work.

Mandarin Spawn now in paint mode...

Well, nearly a year after I have begun, the Super-articulated Mandarin Spawn is finally in paint mode. I got about 65% of the torso done this evening... leaving only the head, both arms, the legs, and everything else to go.

I've spent this long building it... (well, off and on for the last 10 months) - I'm going to take my sweet time painting it. Hopefully it'll all be worth it when it's done...

The scheme will match the shield, which I painted last winter... a series of blues, purples, metallics blue and purple, and black, along with silver accents. It'll be different from any other Mandarin custom I've seen to date, that's for sure...

...plus, it'll move and stuff.

PS - paint rub is proving to be a royal bitch on this one... I didn't take the new shoulders into account when I built it... it's a really tight fit. When the base coat dries on the shoulders (I'm painting it in pieces), I'll do the old superglue trick... hopefully I can pull that off without messing anything up.

Stay tuned...

Innocent grandmothers...

I was at Target this afternoon on my lunch break. As I was thumbing through the pegs of Star Wars figures, hoping to find some new Clone repaints (nothing, by the way) - I overhear this from an elderly woman shopping with her grandson in the same aisle:

"Do you have a Buzz Lightyear?" asks the grandma.
"Yes," he replies.
"Do you have a Woody?"
"Yes."

I had to leave the aisle as quickly as I could to compose myself, and avoid busting out in mainiacal laughter...

...I'm sorry, that's just damn funny.

Random thought #1

It's a sad day when gasoline hits $2.69 a gallon, and you get excited that it's cheaper...

And so it begins...

Ok... I finally decided to give this blog thing a go.

I guess I didn't have enough of people not listening to what I had to say, and so I figured I'd do this so even more people can not read what I have to type...

So what sorts of things am I going to "blog" about?

Action figures, toys and customizing of action figures for starters... but probably other rents (that's a rant/vent for those of you that are unfamiliar with my "pairadisms") and the like. Like most blogs... whatever the hell I feel like typing.

It's not like that many people are going to read this crap anyway...